Eyeballs Deep In Muddy Waters

Valverde shaves monobrow and save 43 grams...propels him to victory in the Dauphine.

AK47 and the Russian Mafia have got their hands full with a very strong field at the Tour de Suisse. Mongo's looking at CSC, and one of the Schleck boys, to flex their muscles with a Tour ready team.

Since Mongodamus and Mongo The Greek have basically gone oh for '08, I will now be making my final prediction of the year...unless of course, I get it right.

The winner of the 2008 Tour de France will be...wait for it...CADEL EVANS !

They're No Jamaican Posse

AK47, with his Russian and Kazakh B-Team goon squad, start the Tour de Suisse today. Let's hope Kloden has recovered from his Giro ailment and makes a run at the podium for G.C.

Back at the Dauphine...Looks like Valverde is probably going to win. Evans and Leiphemer couldn't gain any ground on the second to last stage. The final stage is no cruise, with several steep climbs early, so it 'aint over quite yet.

Is That A Bracelet, Frenchy?

Cyril "The spunky six-cylinder" Dessel does his best Jens Voigt and executes a perfect solo breakaway from the lead group to win today's stage.

The Dauphine Libere, or in English, The Free Dolphin Movement, is really good this year. With only a few stages to go, there are three big contenders in play.

1. Alejandro Valverde...Injury prone, Spanish, Monobrow.

2. Cadel Evans...Wheel sucker, Australian, High-pitched voice.

3. Levi Leipheimer...Short, American, Bald.

Mongo is going to go out on a limb and predict that L.L. will turn it up to a hoe nuvah leval and somehow win this be'atch.

Have Some Coke And A Smile

After already being thrown under the bus by countryman and cyclocross racer Tom Vannoppen for providing him with cocaine,(and getting away with it, I might add) Tom Boonen tests positive himself for the flake.

Sprinting "on a rail" has a whole different meaning.

It's About Time

George Hincapie wins Stage 2 of the Dauphine.

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

Mistook The Nods For An Approval

“Healthy premonitions of the outcome to the game

Sealed dungeons of sanity open slowly to a fragile mind

More now than ever before a foothold has taken in reality

Gather the arsenal of a life lived on the way to Waterloo”

Strauss And Company

Scrappy little gnome, Levi Leipheimer, wins the Prologue of the Dauphine.

Without AK47 in the race, Mongo is a homer for some American cooking. Nothing makes me happier than ice cream...and sticking it to the French.

Levi's a great talent, and without the Tour, this might be his last chance for a European stage race win. I hope he has the legs and Astana works to get him the win.

That being said, Valverde and Evans are also in this race, but they're tuning up for the Tour. Mongo is probably going with Valverde as my TDF "guy", but I'll have to see how his form holds up this week...Stay tuned for my final Mongodamus TDF prediction.

Gotta Have the Funk

Mongo's enemies are mutating.

Today, I had a semi-smackdown with a young, South American lookin' dude on a Discovery Channel Madone...who just happened to be wearing a Rock Racing jersey.

Mongo's opinions on the Rock Racing ownership and the logo and kit design are quite different. I love the kit but question the leadership skills of a fashion designer who is a wannabe, but never was, cyclist.

Anyway, I rolled up on this dude and asked him where he got the jersey while showing him my Rock Racing water bottles.

"Blah, blah, blah, expensive, blah, blah, blah, website, blah, blah, blah, limited edition." What a prick!

After he drafted me for a few miles and never pulled through, I gave White Lightnin' the whip... and we were gone.

Piper At The Gates Of Dawn

He is the Syd Barrett of skateboarding. A mad genius of originality. A scientist, an artist, and simply the best freestyle/street skater of all time. If you don't know who he is...you're lame.

Cell Phone Or Drunk?

I mean on your right...My bad!

Not Sucking Is Better Than Sucking

As you well know by now, Mongo's Monday Smyrna Bicycles group ride has changed from a 30 mile speed run to 25 miles of climbing in the Pyrenees of Vinings, Georgia.

Let me just say that being good at the first is no guarantee you're good at the second.

After eating some humble pie a couple of weeks ago on the new loop, Mongo got serious about some hill training...and it paid off. I have improved a little.

Riding long steep climbs with no more gears left and my muscles burning has become Mongo's personal Vision Quest. I am humbled by the journey...but motivated by the results.

Threw You The Obvious

How do I feel about Alberto Contador winning the Giro d'Italia? Let's see...

He rides for a team funded primarily by a corporate conglomerate from Kazakhstan.(Russian Mafia)

His team leader, Johan Bruyneel, was a major player during the rampant doping years in pro cycling.(Weasel)

The team rides Trek bicycles.(Demon spawn)

Other than that, it was a nice win for what is now the unquestionable star of the peleton. He backed up a sketchy Tour win last year by beating most of the big guns at this year's Giro on short notice. This dude's the real deal.

Mongodamus prediction...Andreas "AK47" Kloden to Rabobank in '09

Audi 5000

AK47 abandons the Giro half way up the Gavia. Turns out he's been sick for a while.