The Friday Night Ride: L.P.E. Haiku

Thought there'd be women

Decided to slow it down

Couldn't hold her back

It's No Tour Of California...

...But Dave "dz nutz go fast on occasion" Zabriskie wins the TT at the Tour of Missouri and takes the overall lead on GC.

"What the f**k are you looking at?...Salt Lake City in da house!"

(Photo:Jon Devich/CyclingNews)

Let's Roll

"O beautiful for patriot dream that sees beyond the years
Thine alabaster cities gleam undimmed by human tears
America America God shed his grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood from sea to shining sea"

(Katharine Lee Bates)

CA...NA...DA ! CA...NA...DA !

Continuing Mongo's strong tradition of being a star maker and unflappable prognosticator, another one of my guys gets his first Grand Tour stage win.

(Photo:AFP/CyclingNews)

U.S.A. ! U.S.A. ! U.S.A. !

"Would you sexy, yet over-tanned, ladies like to take a closer look at my freakishly long arms and obscurely placed random tattoos back at the hotel?"

(Photo:CyclingNews)

Tastes Like Chicken

Congratulations to "Shady Greg Brady" Rogers, on an impressive effort Monday at the US 100K Classic, right here in good ol' Marietta, GA. Following the mantra that "Winning is for sandbaggers and dopers", B-Rog decided that there was only one position suitable to finish...Sixty Nine...Yeah, baby!!!

Parking Lot Showdown: Labor Day Edition

Mongo had a great weekend of cycling. I was able to get out there three straight days in a row and put in some serious, and well needed, miles. It's kind of a shame that I'm on my best form of the year and the season is almost over. I'm really going to try and carry my form through the Fall and Winter this year, and if I can refrain from gaining my usual twenty pounds of blubber, Mongo should be able to start 2010 ahead of the game.

Today's ride was intended to be a forty mile, medium paced, recovery ride. Yesterday, Mongo put in big miles and effort, so I just wanted to keep the pistons loose before I layed off the bike for the next couple of days.

All went well most of the day, but Mongo was dealing with big holiday crowds on the Silver Comet Trail. Cyclists, runners, walkers, baby strollers, and rollerbladers, all had to be navigated. I wasn't seriously challenged by anyone capable or worthy of a smackdown...but my most feisty opponent was a stocky chick on a Felt with TT bars, flat pedals with toe clips, and running shoes. "It ain't the arrow, it's the Indian."

Literally, in the final few hundred meters of my ride, I passed a dude on rollerblades who was all over the trail and oblivious to what was going on around him because of what was probably club/techno music cranking through his earphones.(If you know what I mean?)

And when I say I passed this guy, what I actually meant was that I almost ran him off the trail when I squeezed between him and oncoming traffic after I said "on the left" at least three times without a response. Oh...and I also bumped him with my shoulder, by accident, for good measure.

Below is an artist's rendering of Mongo approaching the rollerblader.

Of course, I looked back to see if I had caused any carnage...and when I saw none, I finished my ride. As I rolled through the parking lot, I saw an old(literally) cycling buddy who also happens to be the father of one of my neighbors...so I stopped to talk to him. About three minutes into the conversation, out of the corner of my eye, I see Mr/Ms Rollerblader rollin' up on me and my friend.

Let's just say that there was a heated verbal exchange...the likes and words of which my seventy plus year old friend has probably never heard. To Mongo's credit, the crowd that steadily grew around us did seem to think that my profanity-laced diatribe was much funnier and wittier than the other guy's.

It all ended with a simple "Fuck you" and "Asshole"... and then the crowd dispersed and Mongo went home. I'm sure there's a lesson to be learned in there somewhere.

Bombs Between The Minarets

"I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion."

(Henry David Thoreau)

Vuelta Update: I Need To Pay More Attention

Mongo still has Evans, Valverde, Sanchez, Gesink, and Basso, hanging around in my top ten predictions.

Five Degrees Of Mellow Johnny

Mongo passed a couple of guys today who were wearing full Discovery Channel kits and, of course, riding Treks. It got me thinking...these guys weren't being ironic, they probably got the kits and bikes when Mellow Johnny was on Discovery...thinking that it was really cool to wear and ride what the pros ride. Well...it's not!!!

If there is one rule in road cycling that everyone knows it's..."Don't wear a pro kit... ever!" Unless...1. You are a pro. (or) 2. You want to look like a complete idiot.

There is a fuzzy gray area where exceptions can take place. One can wear a jersey, not a full kit, of a vintage team or rider if, and only if, that team no longer exists or the rider is at least three teams removed from said jersey.

Who Doesn't Love College Football ?

Back Of The Bus

There's something quite surreal about having a relatively long period of time to think about an accident that's about to happen. In most cases, cycling crashes happen very quickly. You touch wheels with someone or you slide out...then you're on the ground in an instant.

Yesterday, Mongo took the afternoon off and went for a ride...It was about three thirty. With the music cranking(I have a Panasonic "Thudbuster"(12 D batteries) duct-taped to my handlebars), I descended a double switchback section of road at over 40 mph. I've ridden this road hundreds of times, and even though it has blind corners, I'm always hauling ass.

I came out of the last corner only to see two cars stopped behind a school bus...which was also stopped...and unloading children. I was going too fast to stop behind the last car, and I knew it, but I had about three full seconds to come up with another plan.

I wish I could say that I plowed over five kids and kept going unapologetically, but...that didn't happen. I swerved into the opposite lane and, under some impressive F1-style braking, came to a halt next to the bus driver's window. Luckily he didn't see me, so I took a quick lewie into an adjoining neighborhood.

Final Fest '09: The Over Doping

As you all know by now, Mongo is an admitted doper. I take no pride or satisfaction in that fact, but it allows me to comment from a place of some knowledge. Let it be known that no prescription drug pollutes my body. Everything Mongo consumes comes from Mother Earth...or my neighborhood Chevron.

The final 23/2300 Hammerfest ended with a mild thud. The huge turnout I expected never materialized and only about thirteen people showed up. Unfortunately for Mongo, those that did show were all the fast guys. I've been riding well lately so normally this wouldn't have been a problem. But...I over-caffeinated myself massively before the ride, and as a result, my HR was consistently 10-15 BPM higher than it should have been throughout the ride. It wasn't good!

That being said, I have benefited immensely riding with guys much better than myself. I know what it takes to achieve on a high level...Whether or not I choose, or am able, to raise my game, I get a great deal of enjoyment out of the process.