It's Got To Be An Italian

The winner of the road race will be...Damiano Cunego.

(I'm also feeling good about a possible dark horse in Thor Hushovd)

Eighty MInute Abs: The Friday Ride

Just when Mongo's extreme dislike of all things French had simmered to a passive indifference, my m****** f****** spokes have still not arrived from Mavic! From what I've heard, they've been delayed somewhere around the Maginot Line. Mongo has managed, in the meantime, to replace the broken spoke in my Ksyriums with a workable yet slightly different option. Without a thorough test ride though, I'm not going to feel comfortable at the Hammerfest on Monday. Which brings me to yesterday...

While I always enjoy riding my mt. bike/cafe racer, Li'l Pony Express, Mongo has to admit that I've missed riding my road bike, Ol' Lightnin', over the past couple of weeks. Torrential rain and flooding, along with the aforementioned lack o' spokes, has kept me away.

I was planning on testing the temporary spoke on the Friday night ride at the shop...but then it rained...then it cleared up...but being the anal bastard that I am, I didn't want to get the freshly cleaned and tuned bike wet and dirty...so I almost didn't ride at all...but then I felt guilty and hurriedly dressed in my retro-chic, full Pearl Izumi head to toe, 80's-style, Tinker Juarez inspired, M-Frame wearin', mountain bike getup...and headed off for the ride on LPE.

I always enjoy the Friday ride. On the one hand, I can chat with my buddies as the peloton moves along at a leisurely pace, and then when the action heats up on the homeward half, if I feel like it, which I usually do, I can mix it up at a fast pace for the last couple of miles...which is made more challenging when I'm on the mt. bike.

There are practically no hills on this twenty five mile ride. There are steady inclines and declines, but the grade is never more than four percent. This allows many people to believe that they are faster than they actually are. I always smile when I see these guys on the ride because I used to be one of them. As all cyclists finally learn the hard way...you ain't shit unless you can climb!

I did have a good chuckle to myself though when a guy surged to the front and I tucked in right on his wheel. After a mile or so he was noticeably struggling and he kept looking back for someone to come to the front...no one did. Finally, when he was obviously dead, I jumped him and did a mini breakaway. Later on he was bitching about being "hung out to dry". I wanted to tell him all he had to do was pull over and then ease back into the draft, but it's all part of the learning process and he has to take his lumps just like we all did.

It turned out to be a fast and spirited ride. Even though I was on twenty six inches of rubber, only "Boonen", "G.C.", and "No Nickname", were faster than me... and had some of the J.V. riders pulled at the end, Mongo might have had a chance for a sprint victory. Instead, I ran out of steam with about a mile to go...and then Mongo and the wheelsuckers got swallowed up by the peloton.

A Poseur Is A Poseur Is A Poseur

You also might need a derailleur there, Tupac!

He's No Jerry Lewis

Funnier than a mongo squirrel workin' a nut!

Larsson Is Swedish For Second

As with most sporting fans and participants, Mongo enjoys and appreciates watching athletes perform at the highest levels of their sport. A rare few superstars are able to make the gifted athletes around them look very average. This seems to be the case with Fabian Cancellara...but Mongo ain't buyin'. Remember...this is Pro Cycling! Nobody should be above suspicion.

Why then does everyone give Cancellara a free pass when he pulls out one of his super-human performances? He may never have tested positive for anything "testable", and he does have a fairly long track record of winning in this discipline, but he's also inconsistent with his fitness and his race results throughout the season, and some of his wins seem "too" dominating.

As an example, I use this years World Championships...Cancellara beat third place finisher, Tony Martin, by two minutes and thirty seconds. Two minutes and thirty seconds after Martin's time was Serpa Perez...He was in twenty second place!

In a sport where corruption and cheating are almost institutionalized, it doesn't seem out of line to at least throw the possibility out there...does it?

(Photo:Sirotti/CyclingNews)

Mongo Is Appalled...

...There's no hyphen in skateboarding!

Enough Already Haiku

Been raining for weeks

I'm getting depressed and fat

Let's move it along

Forty Days And Forty Nights Of Ballin'

Did you know that the only cyclist to start and finish all three Grand Tours in 2009 was...Julian Dean (Garmin-Slipstream)? Huh!...Mongo wouldn't have guessed that.

Telling It Like It Is

Well...the final Grand Tour is over and the Pro Cycling season is slowly coming to an end. After the World Championships, there are pretty much no more meaningful races. Soon all we'll be left with is "Eurotastic" cyclocross and "Nobody gives a shit" mountain biking. With all it's drama, stories, and impressive performances, 2009 has been a great year. Who knows, maybe even doping is on the downswing...Yeah right! The 2010 season looks even better, with new teams, riders, and rivalries emerging weekly.

I do want to talk about the Vuelta specifically though. Mongo compares it to the Australian Open in tennis, and the PGA Championship in golf. Though they are all major championships in their respective sports, they are the least contested, and coveted, titles.

No one can argue that a podium of Valverde, Sanchez, and Evans, is quite impressive, but when you look a little closer, the peculiarities really stick out. A couple of examples...David Millar won the final Time Trial. He hasn't won anything significant since he stopped doping! Guess which team won the Team Competition? Not Garmin...not Saxo...not Astana...not Caisse d'Epargne...not Cervelo...not Quickstep. Who then, you might ask? It was the mighty Continental powerhouse, Xacobeo Galicia. That's what I'm talkin' about!

Valverde is probably living on borrowed time, and a suspension is still likely. While we all know about Cadel and his wheel-sucking, man-purse wearing, crybaby, ways, Mongo does legitimately like "Sammy" Sanchez...and wishes he had won.

(Photo:Sirotti/CyclingNews)

All Fun And Games...Until You Break A Spoke

Mongo has been riding great lately. Though I've been working more than ever, the combination of diet and specific training has allowed me to make a noticeable improvement over the last few weeks.

Monday was the inaugural ride in the 23/2300 Hammerfest Fall Series. Each week until the time change will be treated like a Mini-Classic, with individual winners each week based on total points for the ride. The only way this benefits Mongo is if I stumble across an old cooler marked "Puerto", and somehow the contents of said cooler enhance Mongo's ability to perform on a bicycle. If that doesn't happen, I'll have to be happy to be in the mix during the Sprint and continue to improve on the KOM.

After the 'Fest on Monday, when I was riding home in near darkness, going downhill at 40+ mph, I broke a spoke in my rear wheel...It was a little sketchy there for a moment! Luckily, it was non-driveside, and the wheel didn't go way out of true.

My point is this...I love my Ksyriums...but...each model uses different bladed spokes, and they really aren't interchangeable or compatible with each other. Mavic does this on purpose, and then makes it difficult to get the correct type/length without buying in bulk. They know they have you...and they know that you know they have you.

For Those Who Promote The Confusion

"Courage consists in the power of self-recovery.”

(Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Holdin' It Down: The Sunday Ride: TT Edition

As you know by now, Mongo isn't a big fan of the majority of people who ride TT bikes. Unless you compete in Triathlons or Time Trials, or you have a bevy of bikes on which you are consistently fast, there is no reason, other than douchiness, to own a TT bike as your primary ride. It is a single purpose machine that, with no other type of riding to supplement your skills, will expose a rider's weaknesses immediately. It is for this very reason that Mongo loves him some weekend smackdowns with these TT poseurs.

That being said, Mongo went riding on Sunday with two of his teammates...Two time defending Hammerfest champion, "Jawbone" Clay, along with "Captain" Jason, were both on their TT rigs. (Both of these guys meet all of the above mentioned criteria for owning a TT bike...and not being a douche.)

The pace was fast from the get-go, and even though Mongo was on my road bike and not very aero in comparison to the fellas, I was hanging tough and feeling pretty good. We passed many people, and though some tried to hang, we eventually rode them off our wheel.

Finally we were joined by a dude on a Transition with Zipps and a dude on a Scattante with Zipps. I know...Mongo had to do a double-take because I couldn't believe the Scattante setup either. These guys were pretty fast but unwilling to pull...unless they thought they could break away from us...which the guy on the Transition tried several times unsuccessfully. This guy was obviously a dick.

Jason, who had been up front most of the ride setting the blistering pace, finally put it in a gear that Mongo was unable to keep up with and I had to let the group go. Even after riding the homeward half by myself, Mongo averaged 19.7 mph for forty miles. Not too shabby!

Who Knows Anymore ?

Mongo has to admit that when I saw that "Il Piccolo Principe", or in English, "Little Red Corvette", had won another stage of the Vuelta, I was ready to jump all over him for being a washed up old guy who has "Magically"(Doper) found youth late in the season. The thing is...he ain't that old(27). But his results have been poor since the end of 2008, and this season, he hasn't shown any signs of form that would return him to the top of the pro rankings...until now?!

(Photo: AFP/CyclingNews)