Well...A Win Is A Win

(Photo:Cyclingnews)

Surprise!...Tom Boonen won the Tour of Qatar for the fourth time. I would normally laud my own influence in securing this victory by mentioning my endorsement of OPQS a mere three weeks ago and their ensuing victories here and in the Tour de San Luis...but I won't.

For whatever reason, Boonen has dominated this sham of a race...which is bankrolled by billionaire sheiks for their personal pleasure while huge appearance fees are secured by the riders and teams to ensure a quality field. So...I'm not taking too much stock in it as a predictor for Boonen's season.

Irina Shayk Vs Beistegui Hermanos G5

So...This Happened

I know that most cyclists viewing this photo for the first time are probably feeling both horrified and amazed....Horrified by the fact that my legs are so hairy, and amazed by the size of my sweet, Cat 6 calf.

Oh...and I got attacked and bitten multiple times by a Pit Bull while cruising on my skateboard.

Let me address the most important issue first...the reason my legs are not shaved. A...it's Winter and I enjoy the extra warmth during the off-season, and B...I have a tradition of shaving the day before my first "official" race of the year so my legs are extra silky-smooth and aerodynamic.

So here's what happened...I was bombing hills in the neighborhood when I cruised past a couple walking two dogs. As I went by I heard barking, and shortly thereafter, screaming. When I looked back, I saw the girl struggling to hold her dog on the leash and then...he broke free and the attack was on.

It's a strange feeling to know something very bad that hasn't happened yet is about to happen...and there's no way of stopping the inevitability. I was thirty yards ahead of the dog and going about 15 mph, while the dog was closing in on me at about 20 mph with bad intentions in it's eyes. I had about 4 seconds to decide what to do.

I planned on bailing out in someones yard and trying to defend myself before the dog got to me. But...right before my ollie to ninja-stance, he hit me in the calf and dropped me like a baby Gazelle. After that, there was about 10 seconds of biting and me elbowing the dog in the face before the owners got to me and pulled him off.

Overall, I was bitten three times on the shoulder and back, once on the calf, and have some really bad scrapes and bruises from the actual fall from the skateboard onto the pavement. The shoulder bite is worse than the calf, but luckily a very thick hoodie prevented any flesh being torn. The worst wounds are fairly deep punctures. If Mongo wasn't the kind of person who's had tons of crazy shit happen to me in my lifetime then this would definitely be the craziest. As it stands now, it is certainly the most surreal and unexpected source of pain and injury that I can remember.

Anything Is Possible Through Skateboarding: Weezy And The Biebs Having A Sesh

Click (Here) to see one of the greatest displays of skateboarding of all time.

Dude...It's So Worth It

Hilarious!...(Click Here)

Adios: You Got Off Lucky

(Photo:Cyclingnews)

Though Mongo would have loved to have seen Contador get the hammer and start his suspension from ground zero today, because up until now he hasn't missed any action and therefore wasn't really suspended, I think the decision by the CAS was the correct one for the integrity and longevity of the sport. (53 word opening sentence...I'm on fire!)

What's really going to happen is that he will only be physically suspended until August and all his results going back two years will be stripped...including a Tour and Giro win. Too bad, so sad!

This is what needed to happen.

On The Other Hand: It's Amazing What You Can Get Away With If You Retain The Highest Priced Most Politically Connected Lawyers

(Photo:Cyclingnews)

Sepia Sky

(Photo:Cyclingnews)

“Men have become the tools of their tools. Money is not required to buy one necessity of the soul. Most of the luxuries and many of the so-called comforts of life are not only not indispensable, but positive hindrances to the elevation of mankind.”

(Henry David Thoreau)

Now In A Fast Acting Formula: The Juice

(Photo:Cyclingnews)

After receiving Mongo's "official" endorsement mere days ago, Omega Pharma-Quickstep go out and win the overall at the Tour de San Luis with the "Li'l Bronze Medalist"...and...also win the final stage of the race with Tom "When do we go to Qatar?" Boonen.

Shocking The Monkey: Time To Get Serious

In a little under three weeks Mongo will be competing in my first  "sanctioned" race of the year. It is also a kicking off, of sorts, for the 2012 season and the entire Smyrna Bicycles (pronounced "lay-o-pard") Cycling Team.

Though it is only a TT, and a length of Prologue proportions, it is still the ultimate race of truth...and smack talking. What has thrown a wrinkle into the equation this year is the change of course venue. All previous results and times mean nothing...we all get a clean slate.

Of course this doesn't mean that Mongo will all of a sudden threaten the podium in my new, less populated, Masters category, but there are always horses for courses...and this might be my track. We'll see. My point to all of this is that my training and time in the saddle have both increased exponentially as of late. This has been a rude wake-up call for my honey-bun infused physique, but it feels good to get back at it.

I had a strong team ride on Thursday with a bunch of the fast guys. Forty-plus miles with lots of climbing and speed work. On Saturday, Mongo returned to the Cat 6/7 "Enemy Bike Shop" ride and took the win...again..."I really should cat-up"...against a pretty small yet formidable field. Sunday was the day of the progressively worse headache.

I rolled out early with "New Bike...Again" Tom and "Danimal" for a brisk thirty on the trail, but I was already feeling a potential migraine coming on. I had a shitty ride and bailed out about three quarters of the way through to get some Goody's at a gas station. Long story short...Goody's didn't work, headache got worse, took more drugs, was asleep by nine.

Today Mongo went out and did a solo loop on the 23/2300 Hammerfest course. It was slow and easy but I was enjoying the sixty degree sunshine. I'm tired... but looking forward to the upcoming cycling season.

I'm Rolling With These Guys

(Photo:Cyclingnews)

Mongo is always a sucker for a good comeback story...and I have reason to believe that 2012 could be the year for my man, "Shetland Jens Voigt". He's looking fit and tiny, he's leading the Tour of San Luis, and he finally broke free from the "Bruyneel Triangle" and is the GC leader on a solid European team.

Don't forget about Tom Boonen...he's also on the team. So is the best TT rider in the world...Tony Martin. Plus, they've got a bunch of star riders, young and old, quite capable of competing with the other "Superstore" teams at all the races.

As fate would have it, one of only four members of the Pro Tour peloton to share Mongo's birthday is also on the team. I am pleased to announce that all of my "Juice" for the 2012 season will be given to Omega Pharma-Quickstep.

Let's Get This Party Started

(Photo:Cyclingnews)

Andre Greipel wins the first stage of the Tour Down Under ahead of (Two of Mongo's boys) Heinrich Haussler and Edvald Boasson Hagen.

A New Wheel And Cramps

Mongo is sore and tired...but in a good way. I've managed to get in 150 miles over the past four days of riding. Two half centuries, a fast Hammerfest loop, and twenty miles of trail and singletrack have led me to this point.

I finally got my American Classic Hurricane rear wheel rebuilt after months of confusion and the ultimate tragedy. It was supposed to be done by master wheel builder, John Kovachi, who is a local legend and who had done several wheels for Mongo in the past. Unfortunately, he passed away suddenly at the end of last year. Ironically, I was using an old school, Kovachi built custom wheel as a substitute while I was waiting on my AC.

Anyway, the wheel was built by someone else and Mongo finally got it back early last week. I was eager to test it out and went on a long shakedown ride with "You Need A New Wheelset" Tom on Thursday. All was good until the way back when Mongo heard a symphony coming from the wheel. Long story short...All the spokes loosened up and threw the wheel out of true. I limped the final twenty miles back to the shop for a crude truing before I rode home and spent a good hour micro-truing the wheel properly.

On Saturday I decided to test my work on some climbs that would put stress on the wheel. The wheel was fine but Mongo wasn't. I was so eager to ride that I not only didn't eat properly, but I didn't bring enough liquids with me. I bonked early and often! The wheel only needed some minor tweaking afterwards and I felt pretty good about my "skillz" with a spoke wrench.

On Sunday, Mongo hooked up with teammates, "Cap'n" Clay, "Full" Gass, "World Traveller" Jason, and "Danimal" for a serious training ride. Fifteen miles of hills followed by thirty miles of 23+ mph speed work. It was lots of fun but exhausting. Mongo had a foreshadowing of what was to come when I started getting pre-cramps towards the end of the ride. Later that night I had such bad cramps in my crotchetal/thigh area that I think I squeezed out a tear or two due to the pain...but don't tell anyone. The wheel held up perfectly and didn't need any more work. Hopefully, there won't be issues down the line.

Today I didn't want to tempt fate with the cramps so I went on a moderate ride on the F600. Trail work and singletrack on a brisk Winter's day. Though I had no energy, it was good to switch things up and work some different muscles.