State Of My Game Haiku

Fitness on the rise

Getting used to the new cranks

Fifth in the last Sprint

The Story You Are About To Here Is True

It all started last Thursday, a week ago today, when Mongo may have saved a seventy nine year old man's life. I came across him, face down in a ditch and not really moving, on the side of the Silver Comet Trail...and what followed was a defining moment in my humanity.

Though I do believe I am a kind, compassionate, giving person, I also know that I am partial to narcissistic and selfish tendencies. So when my brain registered at twenty four miles per hour that there was a person laying face down in a ditch, I literally had a split second to decide whether or not to get "involved". I really must have more asshole in me than I originally thought because it took two "I should really stop!" spoken to myself before I finally stopped and turned around.

The man's name was Jack...and he was an "old" 79. He had lost his balance and stumbled off the side of the trail only to collapse, face down, in a bed of pine straw and rocks. He couldn't turn himself over and his face was bleeding, and when I turned him over, his mouth was filled with dirt and straw. It was quite a sobering sight. I cleared his mouth, washed his face with my water bottle, and made him drink some water. He told me that he had resigned himself to dying if no one had come along...and he was completely serious.

The story ends well...with myself and another good samaritan named Terry spending over an hour with Jack, calling his wife to meet us, and slowly walking him an inch at a time the half a mile back to his medication. During that walk I learned about Jack's Diabetes, his war service, his thirty years working for Hewlett-Packard, and his prized Collie who had recently died. I truly felt honored to have been able to have done "something" for a total stranger who, through a potential tragedy, has inspired me to be a better person.

This Is America...We Know How To Do Slutty

One of Mongo's favorites, "Shetland Jens Voigt", sandbags his way to the opening stage win in defense of his title at the SRAM Tour of the Gila.

I don't know what kind of shamockery this race is, with six or seven Pro Tour riders mixing it up with Continental pros, but the fact that Levi is riding for Team Mellow Johnny's and Dave Zabriskie is riding for Team DZ Nuts shows me that it's not exactly a Tour of "Anywhere in Europe" quality field.

Of the twenty one riders who finished ahead of Mellow Johnny himself, two specific riders of note were Floyd Landis and local Tundra Time Trial legend, Michael Olheiser.

(Photo:VeloNews)

What Will $725.00 Get You On Ebay?

"O.G." 1988, Santa Cruz, Salba VooDoo deck.

I Can Call You Betty

Mongo finishes his "Classics" podium prognosticating season with the big squadoosh at Liege-Bastogne-Liege...dropping me to a pedestrian, yet acceptable, four for twelve (.333) for my Spring campaign.

(Photo:Sirotti/CyclingNews)

Ok...That's It Then: I Am Awake And The Coffee Has Been Smelled

"You can't always get what you want

You can't always get what you want

You can't always get what you want

But if you try sometimes well you just might find

You get what you need"

(The Rolling Stones)

(Photo:Bettini/CyclingNews)

AK47 Update: "You're Fired!"

Actual text from the Team RadioShack website...

Team Note: Andreas Klöden was held up by a crash and dropped out at the second feed zone today. "I was caught behind a crash and lost time. But honestly, I didn’t have the best legs today. That's racing!" (Andreas Kloden)

"You have no heart and you're a bum! You make Oscar Pereiro look like he can still ride...Ptooey!...I'm done with you!" (Mongo Pusher)

The Rose Bowl Of Spring Classics: Predictions Sure To Go Wrong

1..."Frito Bandito"

2..."L.L. Cool Chez"

3..."Face Spinnaker"

AK47 Update: One More Chance

Mongo was ready to dump AK as his "Guy" before La Fleche Wallonne. Lo and behold, Kloden feels the pressure and attempts a solo breakaway on the final climb up the "Murder Wii"...Unfortunately, this attack was unsuccessful and he finished twenty fourth. But...at least he tried!

It is for this reason alone that I'm giving him another chance at Liege-Bastogne-Liege. Though Chris Horner is probably the hot hand for The Shack, Kloden needs to show Mongo that he's serious about getting into "Tour" shape and competing with the thoroughbred GC contenders.

Simple Minds

"That man is the richest whose pleasures are the cheapest."

(Henry David Thoreau)

Spoke Dancing

Mongo would like to wish his buddy, "Shady", a happy birthday and good luck at this weekend's Athens Twilight Criterium. I would also like to say that "Shady" is living proof that it is impossible to true a wheel properly while you are talking on your cellphone. I think that the retarded, blind monkey that trues the OEM Alex wheels at the factory could have done a better job...seriously. Luckily, Mongo is the Salvador Dali of the spoke wrench and corrected what needed to be corrected.

Taking One For The Team...Literally

Sacrificial lamb, Li Fuyu, is expelled from the "Bruyneel Triangle" and sent to the slaughterhouse when one of The Shack's cocktails doesn't pass the UCI smell test.

"You werrcome, Merrow Johnny!"

Who Is The Guy In The Glasses, And Why Is He Eyeballing The Old Lady's Rack?

Cadel wins La Fleche Wallonne like a man...outsprinting Contador and Rodriguez up the final climb of the 20%+, "Murder Wii".

(Photo:CyclingNews)