Thursday, April 30, 2009

Hava Nagila: I Can't Believe I'm Here

I'm embarrassed for you, Levi!

(Photo:Casey Gibson/VeloNews)

Old Guys Don't Win In Pro Cycling

I'm actually surprised I missed this one. Mongo usually has a nose for dopers like a pig onto some Truffles. Here was an obvious case hiding in plain sight.

Thirty seven year old Davide Rebellin, who just won Fleche-Wallonne, has been busted for using CERA during the Olympic Games last year.

Oh, and guess what? He won the Silver Medal. Guess what else? He rode for Gerolsteiner last year...Along with Michael Schumacher and Bernard Kohl. All busted for CERA! Look at Rebellin's results from the past year and a half...all accomplished over the age of thirty six. The results are so strong that I'm amazed he slipped under the radar for so long.


Monday, April 27, 2009

Secret Spy Photo: Mongo In Training

Finally...Some Hair On Your Huevos

An-orexic Schleck wins the final Spring Classic, Liege-Bastogne-Liege, like a a solo breakaway. If this kid can get strong in the TT, he'll be a Grand Tour winner.

Though I consider Bjarne Riis the chemical spill on top of Johan Bruyneel's oil slick, I have no beef with A-Schleck...other than the fact that he could use some.

(Photo:Graham Watson/VeloNews)

Six Hundred

Mongo is a creature of ritual...In this case, I'm not talking about the small woodland animal or stray cat kind of ritual, or as it's known in my house, "Thursday"...but instead, the preparation prior to a big ride.

I get almost as much joy and satisfaction in cleaning and prepping my bikes as I do riding them.

The sound and feel of a dialed-in bike operating at the peak of it's performance is unmistakable.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Good To Have You Back

Ivan Basso wins the Giro del Trentino. It's his first win since coming off his doping suspension.
I like I really hope he's clean and working hard to become one of the premier cyclists in the sport once again.

Say It Ain't So

Mongo has been living in a fantasy world when it comes to his favorite rider, Andreas Kloden. Though I am as harsh a critic there is when it comes to doping, I have always given my boy a free pass...for no good reason. He was right in the middle of the T-Mobile fiasco with Ullrich and the rest of the cheaters, but he was never accused of anything...until now!

"Andreas Kloden and Matthias Kessler have been implicated in illegal doping practices following an independent investigation, news magazine Der Spiegel reports. The former T-Mobile cyclists are suspected of having received banned blood transfusions by doctors at Freiburg University Clinic, the magazine reports in its edition to appear Monday, quoting the results of an investigation by an expert commission."

It doesn't surprise me, it just makes me even more jaded.

(Photo:Graham Watson/VeloNews)

Friday, April 24, 2009

Lets Go Kloden Clap Clap Clap-Clap-Clap

Every time I give my boy AK47 some dap on a good performance, he proceeds to go out the next day and stink up the joint. He hasn't been able to string a consistent week together yet this year.

Though his TT results have been strong, his big-mountain climbing has been below par. This was evident during Stage 2 of the Giro del Trentino when he lost over a minute and a half of his lead to the wrong people.

Kloden's teammate, Janez Brajkovic (Pictured), holds the lead with one stage to go. Basso is four seconds back in second and AK47 is in tenth at 1:36.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Naked And Oblivious

"It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself."
(Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

AK47 Update

Back in the saddle after a short time off, AK wins the opening TT at the Giro del Trentino.

With GC contenders like Basso, Di Luca, Simoni, and Garzelli close behind, this will be a good test of his form.

The Juice Is On High

Mongo correctly predicts Rebellin in first and Cunego in third at Fleche Wallonne. An-orexic Schleck came in second

(Photo:Graham Watson/VeloNews)

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Fleche Wallonne Predictions

1. Davide Rebellin

2. Roman Kreuziger

3. Damiano Cunego


Monday, April 20, 2009


Hmm...Eat less+Train more=Ride stronger...Go figure!

Mongo "will" be ready for the Summer Omnium Series.

Shaving Grams While Losing Pounds

Mongo came to the conclusion and understanding a while ago that, barring me getting a completely new carbon fiber frame, the weight of my road bike would remain slightly below nineteen pounds.

Fortunately for me, there's something called "rolling weight". This is the combined weight of the rider and the machine. Since I can't lose any more weight on the machine, I've been concentrating on the rider.

Since emerging from my Winter hibernation with more blubber than would be acceptable on a Walrus, Mongo has focused on burning fat and improving my climbing. So far, so good!

Mongo has lost an entire Time VXR from around my waist...and my climbing skills have improved from McEwen to Hushovd.

White Russian Or Black Russian?

Sergei Ivanov's most recent employers.

1. Fassa Bartolo

2. T-Mobile

3. Astana

4. Katusha

The first three are among the most scandal and doping plagued teams in Pro cycling history...and the fourth is Russian!

At thirty four years old, Ivanov wins the Amstel Gold Race against many of the top cyclists in the world. Isn't it a little odd that he hasn't won any race of substance during his career, especially since 2001, and now he pulls off this huge victory?
(Photo:Graham Watson/VeloNews)

Friday, April 17, 2009

Sucking Sucks..Doesn't It?

Another former "Doping Champion" finds the road to redemption paved with excuses and bad results.

After testing positive for Dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA), which is a steroid, Kelly Leak/Moocher has called his career a day.
Which leads me to this appropriate and prophetic cartoon.



I can unequivocally state that what happened to me today is the grossest, most disgusting, three seconds of time altering horror that I have ever experienced on my bicycle.

A delivery truck, giving me a nice wide berth as he went around me, ran directly over a large, dead Possum, with both the front and rear wheels.

At the exact moment the shredded carcass flew into the air after exiting the rear wheel, Mongo rode by at a brisk 24mph into a spray of death and disease.

I'm not saying anything went in my mouth , but...

Thursday, April 16, 2009

357 Magnum P.I.

"Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?"
(Henry David Thoreau)

Benny The Jet

Will somebody with a Pro Tour license please give this man a job! He's too good to be relegated to a second tier team with limited big race opportunities.

He's paid his due for "whatever" he did, and most of all, he's still winning.

Including this weeks Scheldeprijs, Petacchi has notched up seven wins this season. Granted, it was mostly against the Jelly Bellys of Europe, but he still has the goods to win on the highest level.

C'mon already have more ain't gonna hurt you.


Monday, April 13, 2009

I Will Choose A Path That's Clear

It's over! My brief romance with the sexy newcomer I like to call,"Expensive fake leather white bar tape that looked like crap after the first ride", has come to an abrupt end.
Mongo is known throughout the local cycling community as someone who is extremely anal about both the mechanical and cosmetic performance of his bikes. That's why the grimy, white bar tape had to go.
I'm back in black, baby! Specifically, a Cinelli carbon weave that matches my stem, bar, and seatpost. The s**t looks tight. Unfortunately, it has the same amount of padding as no padding.

...To The Fishes In The Deep Blue Sea

I've talked a little bit before about my personal pursuit of joy as I journey through this life. I say joy because words like happy or happiness have very little substantive meaning to me. But joy...this is a word which represents a feeling that is programmed in our DNA. It can't be faked or manufactured, but instead, it rises from the depths of your soul like a perfect wave cresting a sandbar. Ultimately revealing itself in a smile, laugh, or twinkle in the eye.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Paris-Roubaix Haiku

Boonen takes the win

Hushovd and Haussler were close

Race of attrition


Friday, April 10, 2009

Bold And Early

Mongo has a feeling...

The winner of the 2009 Paris-Roubaix will come from the Cervelo Test Team.

They may have the most dynamic team of possibilities. Dominique Rollin, Hayden Roulston, and Roger Hammond are the perfect lieutenants to help either Haussler or Hushovd go for the win.

I've just got a feeling...

Alternate "Boring" Prediction...Boonen/ Hincapie/ Ballan

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Selfless Schmelfless

New Innertube...Six Dollars

Co2 Cartridge...Two Dollars

Cost of cutting your ride short on one of the nicest days of the year and changing a tire on a hybrid for a helpless stranger and then turning around and going home because you're too far out to not have a tube and some air...Priceless!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009


1. Hagen

2. Kuschynski

3. Goss

Not exactly the podium that Mongo expected...Hey, somebody's gotta win!
(Photo: Graham Watson/VeloNews)

Downwind And Out Of Sight

“Fiction reveals truth that reality obscures.”
(Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Monday, April 6, 2009


Tonight's 23/2300 Hammerfest was exactly like the Tour of Flanders . It was cold, windy, and there was a mixture of rain and sleet. The only thing different about our ride was that there were no cobblestones and Filippo Pozzato wasn't wheelsucking anyone named Tom Boonen.

I actually rode pretty well tonight. Though all the big guns were in attendance, except Snowbunny and Doo Doo, both of whom took the night off to wash their panties, I hung around in the lead group longer than usual before ultimately getting dropped on the big climbs.

Riding the same course with the same people every week is a great gauge for me to judge my improvement or regression.

Every Once In A While

Yesterday I chased down a really fast dude on a TT bike. In my neck of the cycling woods TT bikes are becoming like iPhones, very trendy, so maybe in one out of five encounters you'll run across a worthy opponent. Most weekend riders of expensive bikes have much more money than ability.

When I rolled up on this guy I realized he had more than a little game. He was riding an Independent Fabrication, Titanium, "Single Speed"...with a full carbon, TT cockpit and Zipp 404's.

I have to admit that it was a sweet bike. It took me at least four miles to catch him in the 21-24mph range. His gearing looked like it was 52/14.

Rainy Days And Mondays

Mongo lives in a part of the country where at this time of year the weather and temperature can fluctuate dramatically. This past Saturday, Mongo did a fast 65k in the morning. The temperature was over seventy degrees when I was done with the ride. Yesterday, I did a recovery 40k in sixty degree, drizzly weather. And now today...

In honor of the Belgian Classics, tonight's 23/2300 Hammerfest will be contested in forty five degree weather with winds gusting up to 40mph. Sweet...nothin' better than trying to bridge a gap with a massive headwind. I can't wait.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

I Am Specialized

Mongo stated on this very blog last December that my "Breakthrough" rider of '09 would be Stijn Devolder. Well...he's on his way!
Devolder won Flanders for the second year in a row like a a solo breakaway.
Superstar on the rise, Heinrich haussler, took a flyer in the last few hundred meters and finished second.
In case you're scoring at home, or even if you're alone, Mongo predicted Devolder and Haussler in my top five.
(Photo:Graham Watson/VeloNews)

Saturday, April 4, 2009

I Can't Spell

It was brought to my attention while perusing another cycling blog that I have been making the gravest of mistakes for a very long time.
The word is "Peloton" not "Peleton".
Obviously, I've come to rely far too heavily on spellcheck.

Thankyou VeloNews...

...for not suing me!

Every writer hopes to have a moment in time on which they can look back and say, "That's when I knew I'd made it."

For Mongo, this seminal moment came not after some silly award like the Pulitzer, but instead, on the threat of legal action.

You see, Mongo hasn't been giving proper credit or links to the images I've been using on my blog. Public domain images are one thing, but most of my pro cycling and equipment photos have come from VeloNews.

When I first started this blog over a year ago, I thought five friends and a few stranger might read it....Was I wrong! Readers in over seventy countries and eight hundred cities around the world have stopped by my little corner of the web. Though I probably knew better, copyright ramifications never crossed my mind.

From this post forward, any images taken from VeloNews or any other commercial site will be properly linked and/or credited.

By the way...VeloNews is the best cycling website out there...really!

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Ronde Van Vlaanderen

Mongo's top five picks in no particular order...

1. Heinrich Haussler
2. Leif Hoste
3. George Hincapie
4. Daniele Bennati
5. Stijn Devolder

And His Name Is Reggie Hammond

Mongo used to like Robbie McEwen a great deal. Not as an individual, because I don't know him personally and I've always perceived him as a douchebag, but as the premier individual sprinter in the peloton. He couldn't climb, he couldn't time trial, but he was almost unbeatable in a field sprint.

Unfortunately for McEwen, time passes, aging happens, and a newer, better version of himself has come along to steal his thunder.

Mark Cavendish is everything McEwen was and more. The biggest difference is that Cavendish has one of the premier teams in the world (Medellin Alto Calle) behind him.

After back to back wins mano a mano over McEwen..."The King is dead. Long live the King."

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Let The Pages Yellow In The Sun

"To be a philosopher is not merely to have subtle thoughts, but so to love wisdom as to live according to its dictates, a life of simplicity, independence, magnanimity, and trust."
(Henry David Thoreau)