Friday, February 29, 2008

Double Helix

Bill Danforth...

The Rosetta Stone of Mongo Pushers

Thursday, February 28, 2008

A Pirate Looks At Twenty

“Young and in love and filled with hope
We found in each other what we lacked in ourselves

There was joy in our hearts and hunger to our touch
Emotion and passion determined the choices we made

We laughed and we cried between the long goodbyes
Discovering the world through the eyes of another

Taken for granted in the haze of uncertainty
Decisions with built-in regrets

The third act ended and the arc was complete
Dear John, she wrote… and everything went silent

A broken heart… empty conquests… the simple truth
Innocence traded for the briefness of desperation

Through rose-colored memories I feel the ache of my first love lost
The longing stays with me until a smile touches my soul

There’s a song in the rain if you’re listening closely
My faith is again renewed”

We Are The Youth Gone Wild

Then and now...nobody rocks a skinsuit like Cipo !

Dedicate One To The Ladies...

As I have mentioned several times before, Mongo does a group ride every Monday from Smyrna Bicycles on the Silver Comet Trail. The pace is 20-26mph for 35 miles, and the size and makeup of the peleton varies from week to week.
One thing is always a constant. Mongo and Tom(I wish my last name was Boonen) are always driving the group hard and looking to out sprint each other for the win. That is a story for another day.
This last week we had a local celebrity ride with us. She's over 60 and rides 12,000 miles+ per year. Kinda' kooky... but she's a great lady who is well respected and fast as hell. She was the last person to get dropped before Mongo nipped Boonen at the line.

You go, Diane!

Eyes Of A Fallen Angel...Eyes Of A Tragedy

Who's next?

Monday, February 25, 2008

Restless Eye Across A Weary Room

“Designed into the blueprint of coincidence

Lulled into believing what was true might not matter

Taken to task for past indiscretions

Sealed by fate to the randomness of surprise”

Sunday, February 24, 2008

The Lunatic Is On The Grass

Is it me...or does Levi Leipheimer look just like Maynard Keenan?

It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp

Mongo talks a bunch of smack when it comes to his cycling prowess and extreme disregard for poseurs of all kinds. Much of it is lighthearted, while the rest is completely sincere. The trouble with throwing around so much s**t is that karma is constantly testing you.

Where are all of these f***ing Treks coming from? I am being haunted by an endless supply of Madones and clean shaven, South American lookin' dudes. Each one slightly different, but with the same goal in mind...Make Mongo's life miserable!

I have to beat them. There is no alternative. But at the same time, these constant tests are draining me like an appreciative cheerleader.

I am cursed by my addiction. Forever doomed to a never ending Groundhog Day of showdowns with nameless poseurs.
Just like the bugs in Starship Troopers, Treks and their riders must be eliminated one by one before they multiply and devour us all. Mongo and his fellow Sandinista's must fight the brave fight for as long as it takes.
Viva la Revolucion !

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Bow Chicka Bow Wow

Also starring in "The Tour Of Carl's Fauna"

California Dreamin'

"I know you're busy, but...when you're done, tell me if this rainsuit makes me look fat."

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Grumpy Old Men

"Mario...You still getting any supermodel action?"

Monday, February 18, 2008


He may look like Vinnie "The Nose", but Fabian Cancellara is the closest pro cycling has to a sure thing in the Time Trial discipline.

By the way...David Zabriskie (The most aerodynamic man on the planet) rockin' some sweet 70's porn inspired facial hair, finished seventh.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

The Pursuit Of Joy

If you asked a random group of people what made them happy, undoubtedly you'd receive a wide variety of answers. Husband, wife, kids, puppies, drugs, hookers, moonlight strolls along a secluded get the picture.

What if you asked those same people what gave them joy? Most of them wouldn't know how to answer.

Today Mongo had two different skateboard sessions. One was a medium sesh bombing hills in the neighborhood, and the other was a "gnarly" banked wall ride in the warehouse district. Then to top it off, I bought a new deck.(Alva Black Leopard)

I had fun like I was a kid. My soul was filled with joy. Don't we all need to feel more of that?

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Bhi Machree Ohin Trasna Na Farraige

Mongo is not Irish, but I was fortunate enough to be born on March 17th...St. Patrick's Day. The "mother of all" drinking holidays.
Mongo tipped his last Harp in 1999, but I've always been a big fan of the potato starved. Guinness, U2, hot pale chicks...What more do you want? And of course, there's Stephen Roche and Sean Kelly...Two of the greatest cyclists ever!
Mongo rode with a former Irish National Team member this last Monday. He was post Roche and Kelly, and in his mid forties today, but he could still bring the cabbage. It was a lot of fun for all of us.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Gettin' Preppy Wit' It

U.S.A. ! U.S.A. ! U.S.A. !
Bringing upturned collars, boat shoes, and guys named Tad to cycling.

When I Grow Up...

I want to be as cool as Lance Mountain.
This dude represents all that is real about skateboarding, life, and humanity in general. He is a dinosaur with modern relevance and a trusted oracle to those smart enough to listen.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Down Goes Frazier

"We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun...but the hills that we climbed led to seasons out of time."

Mongo has always believed that Johan Bruyneel is a shady weasel who has come through the doping era unscathed. He is the Teflon Don of his sport.
Based upon the admissions of his contemporaries, there is an overwhelming likelihood that he either facilitated cheating or turned a blind eye to it during his racing and team management careers.
Astana getting banned from the Tour and other events is as much a reflection on Bruyneel as it is on the corrupt history of the entire Astana organization.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

The Circle Of Life

Mongo has recently been contacted about filling an open slot on this elite team.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Into The Mystic

“ Close your eyes and stare into the cinema of your mind

Focus the images and weave together a visual emotion

Feel the hand of evolution as it imprints your subconscious

Hear the whisper of truth above the din of the mundane”

You Play To Win The Game

It was a sad day today...Mongo had to take down a fellow Specialized rider.(Tarmac S-Works) I didn't want to do it, but in the end he forced my hand. A course of action was started that had no kill-switch.
Here are a few simple ways to avoid the Smackdown from Mongo.
1. If you pass me and you are faster than me, I'll know it and let you go. (You know who you are...Levi.)
2. If you pass me and you're not faster than me, I'll know it and make you pay.
3. If we are equal, I'll happily trade pulls with you... unless you're a douchebag or on a Trek.(Usually one in the same.)
4. If I pass you, there's a 99% chance I'm faster, so don't waste your time giving an all-time effort.
5. If you are beaten, take it like a man, stop making excuses, and try training harder.

Smells Like...Victory

"I love the smell of chain lube in the morning."

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Misty Taste Of Moonshine

You know by now that Mongo's guy in pro cycling is Andreas Kloden, who rides for Team Astana. With the team's exclusion from the Giro d'Italia, and a possible exclusion from Le Tour de France, Mongo is left with the possibility that he may need to pick a new guy for the upcoming season.

I was a fan of Cadel Evans "back in the day" when the only people touting his skill were Phil Liggett... and Mongo. That would be the easy pick considering he won the Pro Tour title and was runner up in the TDF last year. But as usual, Mongo goes against the grain.

I hereby announce that Mongo's substitute GC guy for the "Grand Tours" is Caisse d'Epargne rider...not Valverde, not Pereiro, but instead...Vladimir Karpets.


So there I was, browsing the aisles at my local Marshall's,(Because that's how Mongo rolls) when I stopped in my tracks in horror. Right there in the jeans section, size 38, was a pair of Rock&Republic "premium" denim jeans from our old friend, Michael Ball.

I now understand how this clown can afford to sponsor a professional cycling team...His jeans retail for $240 bucks!

Are you f***ing kidding me? At Marshall's, they were still selling for $100.00. (I must say, they did make Mongo's ass look great when he tried them on.) That's beside the point...Fight the power!

Metaphor For A Missing Moment

“Right behind the door on the left

On the other side of reason

Just above the time of your life

Under the fading memories”

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Dominoes Of Indiscretions

After not being on a bike since the group ride on Monday, Mongo was eager to get out yesterday morning. I was planning on an easy forty to get my legs back, but as usual, my ego and competitiveness changed the plans.
As you probably know by now, Mongo is not a big fan of all things Trek. The culture of douchebagedness that surrounds this brand, whether real or perceived, really bothers me for some reason. I would rather be crippled from dehydration or lactic acid overdose than be beaten by some dude on a Trek.
Trolling speed where Mongo rides is about 18-20 mph. It's fast enough to keep the pretenders at bay, and just fast enough to give the poseurs some hope. It was at this speed that I got a strike...Trek Madone/HED Trispokes/Full Discovery Channel kit. The White Marlin of bicycles.
Oh, it was so much fun toying with him. The smug look on his face as he passed me. The puzzled look on his face when he couldn't shake me as the speed climbed to 26. And finally...the wave-through.
The wave-through always comes when the person in front realizes they can't maintain the ever increasing speeds... and gives up. They might drop back and try to draft for a while, but by then their spirit is broken. It was no different this time...Two miles later, Contador was nowhere to be found.