Saturday, December 7, 2013

Cold Weather Should Lead To More Writing


It was recently brought to my attention by my life-partner,
"Snacks McGee"...


 ...that I have been lazy as shit in providing content for this blog. Even for a low-level hack such as myself, posting mostly YouTube videos seems a little dated...like way back in 2009.

As the mercury continues to drop and my enthusiasm for cold weather riding follows suit, I fully intend to interject more originality into my posts. In the mean time, this being Cyclocross season, here's an always funny video...I'm not so sure Joey's okay.


Friday, November 22, 2013

I Feel Better About The Future Of Our Youth


The best Tool cover you've ever heard...Long live rock!

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

A Thousand Paper Cuts: The Death Of Pro Cycling


(Photo: Velonews)

I'm getting tired of this... "Yeah, I doped. But it was before the eight year statute of limitations and definitely not during the biggest win of my career".

Professional cycling has to hit the reset button. There needs to be immunity for dopers who voluntarily confess and give useful, detailed information about systems, suppliers, evasion measures, and anything relative to cleaning up the sport. These riders must be given a window of opportunity to come clean and provide the information, but once the window has closed...no more deals. If you are caught doping once, you're out...for good! It's the only way. 

Thursday, October 31, 2013

I Got Bronchitis...



Make sure you stay for the remix after the report.

Forty Seven Miles And A Bump In The road


The following is a prepared statement from Mongo Pusher. There will be no questions...

I would like to apologize to the entire squirrel and forest-rodent community for my participation today in an accident which resulted in the untimely death of one of their own. There was no intent, malice, or negligence on my part during or prior to the incident. The deceased though, was seen weaving erratically from side to side moments before the collision...so there are still unanswered questions about the sobriety and mental state of the quadruped. My riding partner and witness on the day, who happens to be a Masters 45+ cyclocross superstar and therefore is quite familiar with nature, though he would probably testify under oath that he actually saw nothing, indicated with a knowing glance that the squirrel definitely "had it coming".

Monday, October 28, 2013

Fire On The Mountains: Seasons End


Well, in years past, Mongo would regale the readers with outtakes from the weekly Smyrna Bicycles team ride...referred to on this blog as the "23/2300 Hammerfest". But, with my literary absence and the fast approach of early darkness, tonight was the last official ride of 2013. I feel the best way to summarize the year is with a Haiku.

Everyone was fast
Mongo faster than a few
Try again next year


Thursday, October 24, 2013

AK47 Update: Auf Wiedersehen


Mongo's favorite alleged doper and the "Teflon Don" of controversy, Andreas Kloden, has called it a career. If the officials in pro cycling really want some insight into the glory days of doping...talk to this guy. He's ridden with the best of them. (T-Mobile...Astana...Radio Shack)

Greg Lemond Is The Man


It needs to be stated right off the bat that Mongo cannot stand Lance Armstrong. I was onto his game from the early days, and I have expressed my opinion on this subject, both privately and publicly, on many occasions. In my eyes, the horse named "Mellow Johnny" is now getting what he had coming and suffering the consequences of being the greatest fraud in sporting history. The horse is dead...and Mongo is done beating it.

That being said, it seems that many of the Armstrong apologists have turned their ignorance and vitriol towards Greg Lemond.

Lemond appeared on CNN recently and recounted his experiences with LA and interjected his opinions on cycling performances with and without doping. What clearly angered most delusional supporters was the claim by Lemond that LA would only have been a Top 30 finisher in the Tour de France without his doping exploits.

The party line seems to be..."Yeah, Lance doped, cheated, lied, bribed UCI officials, manipulated his teammates, bullied and financially ruined people,(Including Lemond and his bicycle brand, along with threatening to reveal Lemond's childhood sexual abuse), and shrouded all of this behind the protection of his cancer and the Livestrong foundation...but, Greg Lemond should stop acting like a whiny, bitter old man because it makes him look petty and tarnishes his legacy." Are you fucking kidding me!?

Greg Lemond stood up to injustice and fraud. From the very beginning he paid a definitive personal and professional price by being one of the lone dissenting voices in the LA fairy tale...and history has proven him right. He is a hero in Mongo's eyes...both on and off the bike.

Saturday, October 12, 2013

I Was On TV...Again


During my hiatus, sabbatical, federally imposed incarceration, Mongo managed to get himself interviewed by the local news for a second time, almost twenty years to the month, concerning bicycle related activities.

The first time occurred at the base of the Key Biscayne bridge. It was 1993...and Miami loved rollerblading. Unfortunately, old people, and anyone who wasn't wrestling with how to "come out" to their parents...not so much!

It must be noted that Mongo was an eager participant in the flourishing, South Florida roller hockey scene at that time. This though, is far different than shirt off, short short, performance art, beach side, blading.

Anyway, people around town were bitching that bladers,(and cyclists), were using the sidewalk on the bridge instead of the street and endangering the pedestrians in the process.

Before this moderately interesting story gets any longer, a news truck rolled up on me as I was unloading my bike and I was asked a few questions and my opinion, as a cyclist, on the brewing controversy. They then filmed me and my buddy as we climbed the bridge. Epilogue...the footage still exists on a VHS tape that was stolen by my girlfriend at the time.

My second foray into being a minor part of a local news segment occurred this summer. Mongo's business card may read "Actor/Model/Philanthropist", but on this rare occasion, charity came first.

My cycling team was a sponsor, and a major participant, in the Tour de Cure here in the ATL. Thousands of dollars were raised, a team was assembled, the ride began, and then...it stormed like a mofo! Ten miles from the end of a fast, 100k ride, it rained harder and the wind blew stronger than was safe to be out in on a bicycle. So...we decided to finish anyway. Why? Because that's how we roll...and we're stupid.

When we crossed the finish line, our achievement was so revered that we were literally mobbed by...no one! Everyone had either packed up their shit and left, or were in the process of packing up their shit and leaving. A lonely CBS reporter wandered up to us and asked if anyone wanted to be interviewed on TV.

The entire crew was wet and miserable and just wanted to get dry and go home, so as an experienced interviewee, Mongo stepped up and took one for the team. I have to say...I was good. There was a cool indifference to the weather mixed in with a sincere concern for the event and the participants that projected naturally through the camera. Mongo even got a "nice" from the reporter after we were done. Epilogue...the footage exists on the internet and may surface on this blog one day.

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Did Anyone Know I Was Gone?


Mongo is back, baby! After eighteen months, I am returning to my rightful place at the bottom of blogger mediocrity. I will be putting some lipstick on the proverbial pig, and getting this party started once again. Stay tuned!