Saturday, February 27, 2010

Cycling Gumbo

The podium at this year's Omloop Het Nieuwsblad is a good one. The crafty veteran winner in Flecha...the anointed single-day superstar in Haussler...and the goofy Labrador sprinter in Farrar.


Thursday, February 25, 2010

Washed Away A Dream Of You

"A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind."

(Henry David Thoreau)

I've Seen Better Looking Bowling Trophies

Michael Rogers wins the Vuelta a Andalucia Ruta Ciclista Del Sol. If he can stay healthy, Mongo expects "Mick" to be a player at the TDF this year. He's got great all around game.


Born The Son Of A Lawless Man

It's been a very long time since Mongo has finished a ride, stripped off my gear, and dropped exhausted into my quickly moistening bed. Today, I got to relive exactly what it feels like to be on the verge of a complete body shutdown.

Mongo decided this morning to take my new Sub-19 out for a run on the 23/2300 Hammerfest loop. During the last couple of months Mongo has hammerfested solely on LPE, so I was excited to see how my training would translate to the Sub-19. Mongo was in full racing trim along with a full array of computer data retention. It would have been a great ride except for the fact that it was thirty eight degrees and windy as f**k!...I'm talking about a constant headwind of at least twenty miles per hour...seriously!

I rode well. The climbs were brutal and the descents were slow. I had wind in my face all day and my speed suffered, but the overall workout was extremely intense. It was what I needed to take my "Cat 5 Domination" training to the next level.

Fresh And Clean: Mongo's New Rubber

For my friend, "Kid Wiz".

Monday, February 22, 2010

I Need To Skate More Haiku

I thought I was good

History gives me no cause

Seven ply maple

Mountain Biking Viking: Cougar Edition

Gunn-Rita Dahle Flesja...More than a mouthful.


Two Peat

The "Bandito" loses the final TT to "LL Cool Chez" but manages to retain his overall lead and win the Volta ao Algarve for the second year in a row. Levi finishes fourth and AK47 finishes eighth.

What is most shocking about this race is the quality of the podium girls. If you compare this year to last year, the difference is overwhelming. "What's up, Portugal...are all your hot girls on location in the San Fernando Valley?"


Sunday, February 21, 2010

Under Nineteen: My Bike And My Women: The Sunday Ride

It is only appropriate that as Mongo sheds pounds, trains hard, and prepares for the upcoming "Cat 5 Domination" season, my bike should also get in on the act. With the addition of my American Classic "Hurricanes", and some new "Open Corsa" tires, my road bike has dipped below nineteen pounds...with pedals. Not bad for an XL aluminum frame with a triple crankset.

The foundation of my training this Winter has been on my mountain bike, Li'l Pony Express. Hill training, speed training, distance, sprints...all have been done on a twenty four pound bike with one inch, 100 psi slicks, compact gearing, and a power sucking suspension fork. I'm here to tell you definitively..."The shit worked!"

Mongo has spent the last two days and about seventy five miles on the road bike, and boy, I am freakin' fast! and stronger than I was last year. All of my hard work is showing some significant benefits, and it's quite satisfying. My leaner body is a lot more comfortable in the drops, which in turn allows me to maintain a higher speed for longer using the aero benefits of my position. I've also noticed that my heart rate isn't spiking during climbs. The increase in HR is more gradual and steady.

Let's get to today's smackdown! It was as sweet as the nectar from Mrs. Butterworth's hoo-ha.(In a figurative, squeeze-bottle kind of way)...Two Cervelo P3's adorned with the appropriate and expected Tri-douches, and a Specialized Tarmac with a friendly guy who was out of his league.

When Mongo rides alone and has no outside stimuli to motivate me, I often get lost in my music and pay no attention to how fast I'm going. I'm like the stoned driver on the expressway. I don't notice anything's wrong until somebody passes me, and when I look at the speedometer...I'm doing thirty five. When I'm on the bike, it's more like seventeen. At this speed, there are always people ready to jump you...and that's what happened.

Long story short...Mongo and the Cervelos drop the Tarmac after about two miles. Mongo then drops the Cervelos on the only semi-climb after they employ team tactics by attacking me with back to back sprints on the flats. Just for shits and giggles, a few miles later I let one of them catch up to me after I let off the gas...and I dropped him again. There is no mercy in "Cat 5 Domination".

Friday, February 19, 2010

Until The Sun Broke Through

"It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself."

(Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Hump Day At The Volta

The "Frito Bandito" does what he always does...go up mountains really fast! Contador wins Stage 3 and takes the overall lead. Levi is hanging tough in third, and AK47 is riding well in ninth.


Shiv Found In Gen-Pop: Removed Immediately

Apparently there are too many "shenanigans" going on with the head tube/down tube interface for the UCI's liking.


Monday, February 15, 2010

Occam's Razor

There were two things that Mongo didn't expect to hear when I woke up today. Firstly, that apparently Floyd Landis is a felonious computer hacker, and secondly, that my arch nemesis, Snow Bunny, is retiring from cycling.

If there's one thing Mongo knows about hacking, it's that you don't use a computer with an IP address that's traceable back to you. Floyd probably thought that his hacking could be done with the same anonymity as his predication for Indonesian porn. "Floyd...not only are you an idiot, but you are officially dead to me!"

Let's move on to the more shocking news...or maybe it shouldn't be?

It was inevitable that word of my "Cat 5 Domination" training would get back to Snow Bunny. He obviously realized that there was no chance that he could get his own game up to speed to be competitive with me by this Spring. So, instead of taking his lumps early and being beaten by "everyone"(including girls) come Hammerfest time, he decided to fade away and pursue a new love...sucking at golf. "Red tees anyone?"

AK47 Update: Thug Life And The Volta

Finally...a legit stage race with upper echelon GC contenders. Mongo is looking forward to seeing strong performances from not only Kloden, but from Americans, Li'l Bronze Medalist and Van Down By The River.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

It's A Casual Affair...

Trading the past for unspeakable futures

Allowing the time to dilute the aggression

Placing the blame into forgiving emptiness

Denying the source of of renewable shame

Friday, February 12, 2010

Spare Us The Cutter: Ten Things I Learned In The Desert

1. The UCI Pro teams should be embarrassed that they got out-podiumed by two Continental teams.

2. Tom Boonen is looking fit and non-cokey.

3. Heinrich Haussler will win one of the Spring Classics.

4. Alessandro Ballan might not be as washed up as I thought he was.

5. Francesco Chicchi is another reason why Liquigas is one of the top five teams in the world.

6. Tyler Farrar needs to step it up.

7. Bradley Wiggins finished 114th..."Here's your check, thanks for coming."

8. Filippo Pozzato "wheelsucked" Fabian Cancellara in the overall standings.

9. Axel Merckx is the coolest name in cycling.

10. Taylor Phinney has the skills to turn Pro next year and win a TDF stage within three.


Thursday, February 11, 2010

Pro Teams Are Jealous

This Saturday marks the first race of the season where many of the SBCT (Smyrna Bicycles Cycling Team) will be making their 2010 debut...It's called the Tundra Time Trial, and it's ten miles of all out effort at 180 BPM. Racers from the Pro level on down will go off at thirty second intervals against the clock.

Mongo isn't competing in this race because...I don't own a TT bike. Sure, I could go on my road bike, but my time would be irrelevant compared to everyone who is riding one of these babies above. Plus, I have kept to my long term road racing goals, and this race offers no real benefit for my "Cat 5 Domination" training.

That being said, Mongo is looking for big things out of all of the SBCT competitors. But, for the owners of the five bikes pictured, this is how Mongo predicts they'll finish.

1...Brady 2...Jason 3...Tom 4...Clay 5...Mike

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Makin' Us Proud

Congratulations to Smyrna Bicycles team member and Furman University team member, Jimmy Mitchell, on his first podium of the season at the 2010 Southeast Collegiate Cycling Conference-Gainesville, Florida.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Drawn Outside The Lines Of Reason

Tell me another story...a tale with a distant hero

Tell me about what was...and who I will never see

Tell me how to think and feel...waiting for the understanding

Tell me when

The Face Of Awesome

Mongo recently added a set of Cane Creek Speed Bars to the cockpit of LPE...and the results have been promising. They allow me to get into an aero position that previously was impossible, and my abs are getting a much tougher workout because of it. Training heavy just got a lot faster. I can't wait to take down my first Cervelo TT bike. Another weapon in Mongo's "Cat 5 Domination" training arsenal...(Thanks, B-Rog...for the bars and the well-framed photo)

Just Relax And Exhale

One of Mongo's favorites and a "Scrappy American", Li'l Bronze Medalist, breaks in his new saddle the old-school way with the rarely used, "Double" Dirty Sanchez.

(Photo:John Fegan/CyclingNews)

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Somebody Cried The Death Of Culture

"While civilization has been improving our houses, it has not equally improved the men who are to inhabit them. It has created palaces, but it was not so easy to create noblemen and kings."

(Henry David Thoreau)

What Will $1000.00 Get You On Ebay?

"1970's Original"

Monday, February 1, 2010

Check This Out...Thanks K-Weezy

There's a new movie coming out this Spring called "Chasing Legends". We all know that good cycling films are hard to come by, but based on these two clips, this one looks pretty cool. Part 1 / Part 2

On The Down Low: Quietly Avoiding The Cream

It is done! Mongo went the entire month of January without ice cream of any kind. As you probably remember, my attempt at this same accomplishment last November was thwarted by the now famous, "Klondike Incident".

Undeniable: The Power Of The Juice

A mere five days ago on this very blog Mongo gave his official nod to "A-Pet" as his guy when it comes to sprinters. Look what happened...

Yesterday, "I'm Packin'" Petacchi wins Stage 2 of the Giro della Provincia di Reggio Calabria. Or, as it's more commonly called, The Race With The Longest Freakin' Name I've Ever Seen.