Thursday, October 31, 2013
The following is a prepared statement from Mongo Pusher. There will be no questions...
I would like to apologize to the entire squirrel and forest-rodent community for my participation today in an accident which resulted in the untimely death of one of their own. There was no intent, malice, or negligence on my part during or prior to the incident. The deceased though, was seen weaving erratically from side to side moments before the collision...so there are still unanswered questions about the sobriety and mental state of the quadruped. My riding partner and witness on the day, who happens to be a Masters 45+ cyclocross superstar and therefore is quite familiar with nature, though he would probably testify under oath that he actually saw nothing, indicated with a knowing glance that the squirrel definitely "had it coming".
Monday, October 28, 2013
Well, in years past, Mongo would regale the readers with outtakes from the weekly Smyrna Bicycles team ride...referred to on this blog as the "23/2300 Hammerfest". But, with my literary absence and the fast approach of early darkness, tonight was the last official ride of 2013. I feel the best way to summarize the year is with a Haiku.
Everyone was fast
Mongo faster than a few
Try again next year
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Mongo's favorite alleged doper and the "Teflon Don" of controversy, Andreas Kloden, has called it a career. If the officials in pro cycling really want some insight into the glory days of doping...talk to this guy. He's ridden with the best of them. (T-Mobile...Astana...Radio Shack)
It needs to be stated right off the bat that Mongo cannot stand Lance Armstrong. I was onto his game from the early days, and I have expressed my opinion on this subject, both privately and publicly, on many occasions. In my eyes, the horse named "Mellow Johnny" is now getting what he had coming and suffering the consequences of being the greatest fraud in sporting history. The horse is dead...and Mongo is done beating it.
That being said, it seems that many of the Armstrong apologists have turned their ignorance and vitriol towards Greg Lemond.
Lemond appeared on CNN recently and recounted his experiences with LA and interjected his opinions on cycling performances with and without doping. What clearly angered most delusional supporters was the claim by Lemond that LA would only have been a Top 30 finisher in the Tour de France without his doping exploits.
The party line seems to be..."Yeah, Lance doped, cheated, lied, bribed UCI officials, manipulated his teammates, bullied and financially ruined people,(Including Lemond and his bicycle brand, along with threatening to reveal Lemond's childhood sexual abuse), and shrouded all of this behind the protection of his cancer and the Livestrong foundation...but, Greg Lemond should stop acting like a whiny, bitter old man because it makes him look petty and tarnishes his legacy." Are you fucking kidding me!?
Greg Lemond stood up to injustice and fraud. From the very beginning he paid a definitive personal and professional price by being one of the lone dissenting voices in the LA fairy tale...and history has proven him right. He is a hero in Mongo's eyes...both on and off the bike.
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Saturday, October 12, 2013
During my hiatus, sabbatical, federally imposed incarceration, Mongo managed to get himself interviewed by the local news for a second time, almost twenty years to the month, concerning bicycle related activities.
The first time occurred at the base of the Key Biscayne bridge. It was 1993...and Miami loved rollerblading. Unfortunately, old people, and anyone who wasn't wrestling with how to "come out" to their parents...not so much!
It must be noted that Mongo was an eager participant in the flourishing, South Florida roller hockey scene at that time. This though, is far different than shirt off, short short, performance art, beach side, blading.
Anyway, people around town were bitching that bladers,(and cyclists), were using the sidewalk on the bridge instead of the street and endangering the pedestrians in the process.
Before this moderately interesting story gets any longer, a news truck rolled up on me as I was unloading my bike and I was asked a few questions and my opinion, as a cyclist, on the brewing controversy. They then filmed me and my buddy as we climbed the bridge. Epilogue...the footage still exists on a VHS tape that was stolen by my girlfriend at the time.
My second foray into being a minor part of a local news segment occurred this summer. Mongo's business card may read "Actor/Model/Philanthropist", but on this rare occasion, charity came first.
My cycling team was a sponsor, and a major participant, in the Tour de Cure here in the ATL. Thousands of dollars were raised, a team was assembled, the ride began, and then...it stormed like a mofo! Ten miles from the end of a fast, 100k ride, it rained harder and the wind blew stronger than was safe to be out in on a bicycle. So...we decided to finish anyway. Why? Because that's how we roll...and we're stupid.
When we crossed the finish line, our achievement was so revered that we were literally mobbed by...no one! Everyone had either packed up their shit and left, or were in the process of packing up their shit and leaving. A lonely CBS reporter wandered up to us and asked if anyone wanted to be interviewed on TV.
The entire crew was wet and miserable and just wanted to get dry and go home, so as an experienced interviewee, Mongo stepped up and took one for the team. I have to say...I was good. There was a cool indifference to the weather mixed in with a sincere concern for the event and the participants that projected naturally through the camera. Mongo even got a "nice" from the reporter after we were done. Epilogue...the footage exists on the internet and may surface on this blog one day.