On Like Donkey Kong: It All Comes Down To What's Between The Ears And Legs

Well...here we go! Mongo's very first Time Trial, and what is hopefully the beginning of a successful "Cat 5 Domination" racing season, kicks off on Saturday morning. Though the location is harder to find than an underground rave in '97, I'm ready to roll.

Mongo hates talking about himself...ok, not really, but I do want to keep it real for a minute. I challenged myself at the end of November of last year to accomplish a few things by this point. They were, to train hard and ride throughout the Winter, both outside and on the trainer; take my diet seriously, quit the ice-cream, and lose fifteen to twenty pounds. I have accomplished all of these things.

Of course, all of this plus a Marta pass guarantees me nothing but a seat on the train. However, I'm feeling pretty good. Though I've lost about fifteen pounds overall, I've gained about five pounds of muscle. This may or may not be due to a recent delivery from Kazakhstan, but I'm in better shape at this time of year than I ever have been at this point before.

Mongo isn't worried about my result in the TT. As I've said before, this ain't my thing and I don't own a proprietary bicycle. All I know is that I've put in the work all Winter on the hills and the country roads, winning twice on the suburban group ride "B" circuit and holding my own when I mix it up with the big boys, so logic would dictate that I'll probably do pretty well for a man of my advanced years. But as cyclists, we all know that "shit don't always work that way".

Mongo's prediction for the 12 mile course...33:29

See Ya...Wouldn't Want To Be Ya

(Photo:CyclingNews)

I think this guy is an arrogant, smug, prick, who has hidden for years behind the shield of the Livestrong Foundation and conducted disgraceful "smear campaigns" against any and all who have either opposed him or exposed any details of what can only be described as undeniable proof of doping and the lengths that were taken to lie about it and cover it up. I hope the Feds close the noose and take him down to Chinatown!

The Juice Goes On The Road

Though it is undeniable that a mention or support by Mongo usually leads to good things happening to a cyclist or a particular team, up until now, Mongo's reach has remained in the sporting world...Not any more! After several appearances on this blog, including this one, look who just got the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.

Bullshit!!!

(Photo:CyclingNews)

If WADA or the UCI don't appeal this travesty to the CAS then Pro Cycling has allowed a loophole into their sport that may never be closed. Also...how retarded is it that National governing bodies get to decide the fate of their own athletes? No conflict of interest there!? The Spanish PM Tweets about his opinion of Contador's innocence and "voila"...decision reversed...Contador cleared.

AK47 Update: Nonplussed In Mallorca

(Photo:CyclingNews)

Two Weeks After Six Days Ago: Cat 5 Domination Ain't Easy

This artistically framed photo was taken by Mongo himself on Monday mere minutes after I decided not to ride around the barriers and cross the tracks ahead of the oncoming train...Though I had plenty of time and room, every "Murphy's Law" scenario and childhood fear came to mind so I decided to unclip and take random pictures with my phone instead. I was rewarded for my "safety first" attitude with an obnoxiously long and loud horn blast from an overly friendly, and "wavey", train driver (I'm not quite sure what they're called these days).

Since my Prac-TT last Thursday, Mongo has managed four days of outside riding. On Saturday, I rode to the "Enemy Bike Shop" ride and there were literally two other people there. It might have been because it was thirty degrees and wet. We all looked at each other for a while and then rode off in separate directions. I got in some serious climbing and then spent an hour after the ride on the trainer.

On Sunday, I got up very early for the "Smyrna Bicycles Weekly Winter (Until the time change) Sunday Morning Crack O' Dawn" ride. I was really looking forward to riding with the fellas, but I obviously woke up with a case of the stupids because I decided to put on two new tires at the last minute...and proceeded to get two pinch-flats and run out of both tubes and time before the ride started. Instead of packing it in and going back to bed, mostly because I had already dosed up on Sportlegs and embrocation, Mongo saddled up the F600 and did thirty five miles on the trail.

On Monday, with new S-Works rubber safely mounted and a spare tube in tow, Mongo put in a strong solo effort on the 23/2300 Hammerfest loop. Tuesday and Wednesday were trainer only days, but I managed to work on my leg speed while staring at myself in a big mirror.

Today, Mongo randomly ran into "Thanks For Not Calling Me" Tom in the middle of putting in another loop on the Hammerfest course. We took it easy and had a good ride. With only eight days left before my first race of the season, Mongo needs to focus and finish my training strong. I feel good!

A Friend Of Mine And One Of My Favorites

 

Arrogance And Hubris: A Caricature Of A Cliche

Lance Armstrong...Jan Ullrich...Floyd Landis...Alberto Contador...Ivan Basso...Danilo Diluca...Alejandro Valverde...Riccardo Ricco...The list goes on and on...Is anyone surprised?

(Photo:CyclingNews)

Feeling My Mortality

In a coincidentally random way, Mongo ran across a couple of articles today concerning two of my skateboarding contemporaries...Tony Hawk and Mark "Gator" Rogowski. Both of these guys are right around my own age, but their lives have taken distinctly different paths since we were all young skateboarders. One of them is a legend but is getting divorced for the third time, while the other was just denied parole for at least another seven years and is serving a potential life sentence for rape and murder.

At one time in the 80's they both had the world in front of them.

I Hate To Say It...I'm Good

(Photos:CyclingNews)

I know it's only the middle of February, but Mongo's "Juice" is flowing strong. My officially endorsed favorite team is off to a strong start in 2011. Cameron Meyer won the Tour Down Under, Jack Bobridge set a world record in the Individual Pursuit during a rare appearance on the track, Tyler Farrar won a couple of races in Mallorca, and Heinrich Haussler won Stage 2 and is in GC contention at the Tom Boonen Tour Of Qatar.

What Is It Good For?

Absolutely nothing...(Though I did see them perform my first weekend of college, during the day, outside, on a double bill with one of my favorite bands of the 80's.)

These guys...on the other hand, kick ass!



It Beats The Alternative: What All The Cool Kids Are Using

"This shit is dope!"...(Mongo Pusher)



I Came...I Saw...I Practiced

Let me just say right off the bat that I am no longer concerned about my potential performance in the upcoming Tundra Time Trial. Though I have always known my limitations riding a classic, drop-bar race bike on on a rolling, 19.4k TT course against eight thousand dollar speed machines, after today's practice run in race conditions I'm feeling pretty good that I'll be respectable.

Did I mention that the temperature never got much above freezing and that there was pretty much no warm-up after I realized quickly that my first "practice" run was going to be my "only" run?

Mongo was out there today with Cat 5 sandbagger podium hunter, "I'm Coming For You Jason G...Yeah, I Said It !" Tom, who was in full TT regalia, including an expensive bike and an aero helmet. The original plan was to do two runs. The first to practice and get to know the course, and the second to go as hard as possible. Tom did A and B...Mongo only did A.

But in my defense, about a third of the way in I was so cold that I kicked up my effort to about 85% and rode the rest of the course at that pace...12 miles exactly in 34:40. On race day, I am convinced that with proper doping nutrition, a proper warm-up, and the adrenaline of the competition, I will knock 1-3 minutes off of today's run. That's going to put Mongo right in the thick of things in the middle of the Smyrna Bicycles TT peloton. Remember my mantra..."I'm going to beat someone I shouldn't".