Snake River 2: Electric Boogaloo

There are two ways that any serious cyclist can think about their bike. The more pragmatic look at their ride, no matter how expensive it might be, as a collection of parts...nothing more than a tool in the cycling experience.

The rest of us connect with our bikes as an extension of ourselves. At the very least, we apply human qualities to these inanimate objects. We defend their foibles and tout their accomplishments. They become important to us.

Today when I was dismantling my Specialized(which cracked on the downtube/bottom bracket weld) to send back to the factory for replacement, I was saddened by how this bicycle slowly transformed in front of me from an old friend to a thing. As each component was removed, it lost a little bit more of it's soul.

I'm looking forward to my new frame...I don't like having a collection of parts.

Smell The Glove

-1983-

Carmichael Auditorium

Chapel Hill, North Carolina

$12 Ticket

(Mongo goes to first concert...is never the same)

Au Revoir...Ebay Allez

"Double butted elegance born from the storm of the earth
Rigid in stance-subtle in purpose-loyal by nature
Meticulously maintained-gleefully enjoyed… an industrial friend"

Keeping Me Motivated

Though I have a great many pleasures in life, there are few things more enjoyable to Mongo than laying the "smackdown" on poseurs, and whenever possible, "stickin' it to the man".

I hate when a great bicycle is wasted on an undeserving rider. You've seen them... The yuppie on the Litespeed: The fat, dot com guy on the Colnago: The old, retired, hipster on the Serotta. They're all decked out in their Assos and Sidi's, but they don't have the legs or lungs to match. Worst of all, they are rockin' full kits of either their team du jour, or their latest corporate outing. I'm not hating on these people because they have means to buy a great ride... just don't act like a douchebag about it.

Today when Mongo was enjoying a solo ride, jamming on the mp3 to some Tool, and cruising along at about 21, he got jumped by what he thought was one of the above mentioned villains. A blur of logos on a bright orange kit flew by me at a about 27.

Though I was a little surprised how fast this one passed me, I got out of the saddle and did my best Erik Zabel to get on his wheel. It was when I got behind him that I realized that I was in trouble.The Powertap hub...The full Dura-Ace components...The carbon fiber everything else... The impeccably fast cadence. This was no poseur! This dude was a racer... and I was now committed to a showdown.

I wish this tale ended with a triumphant win for Mongo, but unfortunately that didn't happen. The truth is I hung with him for about ten miles (no drafting) in the mid to upper 20's before he jumped me at a light. I didn't have the sprint legs to catch him, so I let him go.

The moral of this story is that I did pretty well for an old guy, but I'll have to keep working hard if I want to beat more than the usual fodder. I'll be ready for you next time "Powertap Guy".
Now, if I could only find that weasel on the Lynskey!

Sharpening The Saw

I have always loved the expression "Sweat Equity". (I'm sure I first heard it back in my corporate/management days when I was thinking outside the box and workshopping ideas that turned into a zero-sum game.)

It implies an investment made through hard work rather than financial backing. There is honor, and more importantly, "Street Cred", in sweat equity.

For cyclists, sweat equity is the hundreds of hours in the saddle each year...rain or shine. For skaters, it's getting up after every fall and getting back on the board to try again.

For both, the pursuit of the perfect shred requires 113% ... but that's not a lot to ask when you're doing something you love.

Behind The Commerce

Merry Christmas !

Random Precision

Each one a unique work of art. Form and function expressed with emotion and individuality. Ideas and resolutions in the shapes of possibilities. 169's and 85A's are the messengers of the dream. Live life... Live the dream.

East Carolina 41 (#24) Boise State 38

PIRATES WIN!!! PIRATES WIN!!!

Smyrna Bicycles:The Best Bike Shop In The World *

There comes a time in every man's life when he stares at himself in the mirror, casts aside his selfish wants, and looks inward to see how he can do more to help humanity. Unfortunately for me, this hasn't happened yet...I've heard it can be a nice moment.

In this season of praise and togetherness, Mongo wants to thank his pit crew at Smyrna Bicycles. These guys are my buddies, but they also know more about bikes than you do. Without Brown and Tom, my quiver of trusty steeds wouldn't be in such sweet condition.

Don't let the humble exterior of the shop fool you, money is no object for these two where it really counts...Inflated salaries and business trips to Aruba. When they're not scuba diving or "makin' it rain" at some fancy club, you'll find the owners working hard to make sure you love cycling as much as they do. Please check them out...Here (* Northwestern suburbs of Cobb County)

Where Have You Gone...Andy Hampsten?

Not literally... I'm pretty sure he's alive and well, running a bike company with his brother in a small, high-altitude town out west in Calizonaradogon. Maybe it's New Jersey? Anyway... My sentiment is more about lamenting a simpler, more exciting time in bike racing.

I am a fan of professional cycling in the same way that I'm a fan of NFL Football. I know the league, I follow the teams, and I have my favorite players. I'm as disturbed about the state of cycling as I am about the beaching of my beloved Miami Dolphins. Obviously, there are a few slight differences worth mentioning. Cycling today is full of cheaters, liars, greedy bastards, and the French... The Dolphins get the #1 pick in the draft!

I remember when America was the "scrappy little mutt" of international racing. Most people forget how, not too long ago, the good ol' USA was treated like a rented mule by the peleton. Two American cyclists, the Han Solo and Luke Skywalker of scrappy, slapped the smug off the face of those bastards and scared the no deodorant wearing crowd back to their 17th century plumbing and bitterness. Before Armstrong's seven wins and Landis's disgrace, there was Greg LeMond and Andy Hampsten.

Three Tour de France wins, a Giro d'Italia win, three Tour de Suisse wins, and a couple of World Championships. Between 1986 and 1992, these two ballers were goin' old school when it was still new school, and showin' Alpe d'Huez what was up, yo!

The Greatest Story Never Told

In my own personal Pantheon of mankind's greatest inventions, right up there with nose clippers and the Tokemaster, is the most versatile lubricant and de greaser of our time...WD-40 !

I could spend literally three or four more lines extolling it's virtues, but instead I will reveal the "dirty little secret" that both bike manufacturers and snooty bike mechanics (You know who you are...Tom) don't want you to know... When used properly, WD 40 can keep the drivetrain on everything from your Carbon BMC Team Machine to your newly restored Takara in perfect shape.

Here's how in a few easy to follow steps.

1...Park a '93 Saturn with a Yakima strap rack in your driveway.(Any color, mine happens to be red)

2...Place bike on rack and pull up the hose with the high pressure nozzle

3...With the chainring side facing you, spray WD40(using the red extension thingy) directly into the chain links while backpedaling.

4.. When the chain is saturated, also spray your chainrings

5...Using the hose, rinse off the chainrings and the cassette(If you don't know not to spray water directly at your bottom bracket and hubs, then maybe cycling is a little too complicated for your lifestyle)

6...Stand behind the bike and spin the rear wheel towards you

7...From up close, spray water through the chain as it spools through the derailleur (Make sure the cranks rotate at least four times)

8...Dry chain with towel or t-shirt

9...Lubricate chain with appropriate cycling specific product (I use Pro Road by Finish Line)

10...NEVER, EVER, EVER, use WD 40 in any other way on your bike (Ok, maybe for some light rust removal on the vintage Merckx, but thats it !)

Your Welcome !

We Can Rebuild Him ...

There's nothing better than a cool nickname. Pro athletes, college buddies, little kids, they all have them. What makes them cool is that these names, no matter how silly they sound, were earned. Whether because of an athletic endeavour, a shared experience, a missing chromosome, or simply because you actually do look like Mr. Miyagi, cool nicknames rock!

It is with great pleasure that I announce that I, Mongo Pusher, have been bestowed with a great nickname. I am doubly proud to announce that the nickname comes from a TV character who was played by the actor who starred in my favorite TV show prior to 1980.

Due to my recent dumbass/idiotic/no helmet wearin'/I'm lucky to be alive/ crashes on my mountain bike and skateboard, I will now be known as... Colt Seevers..."The Fall Guy"

BTW-ALWAYS WEAR YOUR HELMET !!! SERIOUSLY !!!

Read A Skateboard Magazine Lately ?

-240 Pages Total

-190 pages of shoe advertisements

-30 pages of pros doing tricks you'll never do...Ever!

-15 pages of semi-retarded interviews with above mentioned pros

- 5 pages of semi-retarded letters from likewise affected skaters and lurkers

-I know I'm old but... Come On !