Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

The Golden Child wins Paris-Roubaix Espoirs(U-23).

At only eighteen years old, he is the real deal and the future of American cycling.

(Photo:Claeys Liesje/VeloNews)

Buh-Buh Baah Baah

All the work has been done...All the sweat has been sweated...All the doping has been doped...It's Hammerfest time!

Monday, June 1st, 2009...at 6:30 pm.

Let's get it on!!!

Russkie Mammal Toe

Denis Menchov wins the 2009 Giro d'Italia...Good on ya, mate! What else did we learn?

1. Levi will never be anything but a super-domestique.

2. Mellow Johnny did okay...but Yaroslav Popovych was better.

3. Danilo Di Luca is a one race pony.

4. Ivan Basso and Liquigas will be a factor at the Tour.

5. Damiano Cunego forgot to show up.

6. Garmin-Slipstream need to work on their TTT.

7. Nobody is faster than Mark Cavendish.

8. Don't bet against Carlos Sastre at the Tour with the Cervelo A-Team.

(Photo:VeloNews)

Among A Million Same

"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesman and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do."

(Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Cadel Who?

Philippe Gilbert wins Stage 20 and puts Silence-Lotto on the board.

It's all over tomorrow with the final TT stage.

LETLE VIWIN !!!

(Photo:Graham Watson/VeloNews)

She'll Take This Seriously

I'm Back!!!...Mongo was without the Internet for 48 hours*. It was quite an unpleasant experience. I don't have an i-Phone or a Blackberry, I just have a phone, so I rely on my Commodore Vic 20 and my enhanced dial-up modem to keep me linked to the web.

(*...Somebody not named Mongo cut the DSL line with a string trimmer)

Eye Tally Un

Mongo stated over three weeks ago that I had decided to throw my considerable "juice" behind Liquigas. Well...the proof is in the chamois.

Franco Pellizotti wins Stage 17 like a man...with a breakaway. He and Ivan Basso sit third and fourth on GC with four stages left.

In Mongo's Giro Fantasy League, I still have six of my guys in the top ten on GC. We'll have to see how all the points shake out at the end of the week.

(Photo:Graham Watson/VeloNews)

I Am Serious...And Don't Call Me Shirley

Energy decides the fate of sedentary fools

Place the blame before the fall in diplomatic tools

When purpose fades through the weight of progressive flight

Explore the certainty disguised on the face of blinding night

Getting Dropped=Sexy Time

It's officially over...Levi has no chance of winning the Giro. To make matters worse, he's battling Basso, Pelizotti, and Sastre for third on the podium.

Let's see what the Li'l Bronze Medalist is made of during the final week of the race.

(Photo:Graham Watson/VeloNews)

Memorial Day '09: The Remembering

Mongo didn't ride today. In retrospect, I probably should have...but the constant threat of rain plus the five assorted bagels in my stomach convinced me to stay home.

As I watched the many stories on TV about the amazing men and women who gave their lives in service to our country, I was reminded of my own childhood friend who lost his life almost twenty four years ago. I was fortunate and humbled to be able to attend his funeral at Arlington National Cemetery. I will never forget the magnificence of the grounds and the honor and respect bestowed upon the fallen. I wrote a story about the experience when I was in college, and after a little digging around I found a copy of it.

Mongo was only eighteen when he wrote the piece, good or bad, and out of respect for the family I won't use the full name of my friend. God bless you, Bruce!

A Terrible Loss

With its magnificent monuments and rolling green sea of headstones, Arlington National Cemetery is one of the most awe-inspiring landmarks in the United States. Annually, tens of thousands of visitors tour the grounds viewing the resting places of the famous, and not so famous, American veterans. On this particular Friday afternoon in March though, there would be no tour buses. Today...Lt. Bruce would be buried a hero.

Lt. Bruce, along with two hundred and forty seven other members of the 101st Airborne Division of the United States Army, died in a plane crash in Gander, Newfoundland. They were on their way home from a peace-keeping mission in the Middle East. There were no survivors. Lt. Bruce's body was the last to be identified, and today, the last to be buried.

The Honor Guard, in their dress blues, marched with such synchronization it was as if they were marching as one. Behind them, two impeccable white stallions drew the cart containing the flag-draped coffin of Lt. Bruce. The procession of family and friends followed closely behind as stone-faced soldiers led the way down the winding road toward their final destination. If there was ever beauty in death, it was evident on this day.

When the procession reached the grave-site, the coffin was removed from the cart and placed on a stand next to the family. What followed was a touching and powerful eulogy. The flag on the coffin was then folded with razor-sharp precision on the cadence of the officer in charge. In its customary triangular shape, the flag was respectfully given to the mother of Lt. Bruce and the service closed with the traditional, yet moving, twenty-one-gun salute.

A teary-eyed friend in attendance who had known Lt. Bruce for nearly twenty years silently wished he could speak to him just one more time...But then, that was impossible.

Algo's Height

"Every people have gods to suit their circumstances."

(Henry David Thoreau)

Hard Fast And Wet: Pick Any Two

Mother Nature got back at Mongo today...presumably for my vehicular squirrelcide from the other day. I got stormed on like a mofo at the end of my forty miles on Li'l Pony Express.

Riding stretched out and slammed on a flat-bar bike ain't comfortable. After about thirty miles your back/shoulders/neck begin to become pained and aggravated. Add horizontal rain and wet "everything" and...it's time to go home.

Evinrude

Mongo hasn't seen an athlete this ugly and a jersey this cluttered with advertising since I was a regular on the B.A.S.S. circuit in '97.

(Photo:VeloNews)

If Mavericks And Teahupoo Had A Baby

"So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

(Karl Spackler)

Letle Viwin

Forty seconds down...Nine stages to go...

(Photo:Graham Watson/VeloNews)

The Legend Of Sleepy Mongo

Though Mongo's strict training regimen, which is based on the Mayan calender, Biorhythms, Internet pharmaceuticals, and tears, has been very successful as of late...I'm getting really tired.

Maybe I'm old, maybe I'm over-training, maybe I'm under-nourished? Whatever it is, sometimes you have to listen to your body and take it easy until the diesel gets back up to speed.

Nature Played Chicken With Mongo...

...And lost!

Mongo is now two thirds of the way to the "Triple Crown" of action sports related wild rodent killings. Several years ago, an unlucky Chipmunk was taken while I was on my mountain bike. Today, Mongo, in what was a kill or be killed situation, took out a full-sized, probably old and was going to die soon anyway, Squirrel...On my skateboard!

I have to say, Mongo saved his own ass with what was one of the most impressive high speed run-outs on concrete that you'll ever see.

I'll be heading down to Costa Rica soon to do some wakeboarding and hopefully complete the trifecta...I hear the Capybara are running this time of year.

Mammal Toe Tifoso

(Photo:Graham Watson/VeloNews)

If You Dish It Out...

...You'd better be able to take it!

Mongo goes down to Snow Bunny in the final 23/2300 Hammerfest of the Spring Series and slips to seventh place on GC.

Fuuuuuuuck!!!

The "Redemption" begins June 1st, with the start of the 23/2300 Hammerfest Summer Series.

You'll Get Your Comeuppance

Mongo has decided that Mark Cavendish is... a dick!

(Photo:Graham Watson/VeloNews)

Eastern Road 1980

"Conservatism makes no poetry, breathes no prayer, has no invention; it is all memory. Reform has no gratitude, no prudence, no husbandry."

(Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Keepin' It Real: The Mongo Top Five

1. Tony Alva

2. Christian Hosoi

3. Rodney Mullen

4. Tony Hawk

5. Danny Way

Holmes Is Back...Sort Of

Chris Miller wins the Masters Division...again! The dude is so smooth and stylish. And he has the combi-pool dialed in perfectly. But look who came in second. My man...Christian Hosoi.

Hosoi is slowly finding a way to balance his ministry with a limited return to competitive skateboarding. Though he has had strong results over the past six months in lesser competitions, hopefully his showing at the Pro-Tec Pool Party will continue to encourage him to skate even more frequently.

Christian Hosoi is one of the five greatest skateboarders of all time...period. He has earned a second chance at making a first impression on those who never saw him in his prime.

(Photo:Joe Krolic/Fuel.TV)

Two Days Before The Day After Tomorrow

Mongo has to admit that the Giro d'Italia this year has been highly entertaining so far. Most of the big name are still in it, except Mellow Johnny, and some of the young riders are starting to make statements of their own.

By the way, why has Mongo and everyone else fallen asleep on Columbia-Highroad? They have proven since day one that they are the most complete team in Italy. Kanstantsin Siutsou wins today's stage like a man...in a solo breakaway, and does his best Tommie Smith-John Carlos victory celebration.

With essentially a Criterium stage tomorrow, the positions on GC are unlikely to change before the rest day on Monday. These are the top ten after week one...

1. Danilo Di Luca (ITA) LPR Brakes Farnese Vini in 33:13:35
2. Thomas Lovkvist (SWE) Team Columbia - High Road in 33:13:48 at 0:13
3. Michael Rogers (AUS) Team Columbia - High Road in 33:14:19 at 0:44
4. Levi Leipheimer (USA) Astana in 33:14:26 at 0:51
5. Denis Menchov (RUS) Rabobank in 33:14:33 at 0:58
6. Ivan Basso (ITA) Liquigas in 33:14:49 at 1:14
7. Carlos Sastre Candil (ESP) Cervelo Test Team in 33:14:59 at 1:24
8. Christopher Horner (USA) Astana in 33:15:00 at 1:25
9. Franco Pellizotti (ITA) Liquigas in 33:15:10 at 1:35
10. David Arroyo Duran (ESP) Caisse D'epargne in 33:15:24 at 1:49

(Photo:Graham Watson/VeloNews)

The Cool Before The Warm

"I am sorry to think that you do not get a man's most effective criticism until you provoke him. Severe truth is expressed with some bitterness."

(Henry David Thoreau)

Eminence Front Haiku

Drowning on the hills

Surely makes you lose your mind

Deep sea diver sounds

(Photo:VeloNews)

How Many Mexican Dogs Fit On A Bicycle?

Canines And Controversy At 80 PSI

Well...it all comes down to next Monday. The final 23/2300 Hammerfest of the Spring Series will "not" be a ceremonial ride.

Though first place has been wrapped up for weeks by the cyborg known as Clay, second and third, as well as sixth and seventh are still up for grabs.

Mongo lost control of sixth place this week when an untimely flat caused me to complete most of the loop with 80 psi in my rear tire. I'm not saying it made a huge difference but...I normally run 140 psi in the rear. I still rode strong and had an impressive Gert Steegmans-style leadout that put me in the mix on the Sprint. This is where the controversy comes in...

The points system in the Spring Series is a lot like NASCAR. Which means nobody really understands it, but consistency and "showing up" count for a great deal. Mongo has used this to his advantage in his battle with Snow Bunny. I thought I was sitting pretty with three bonus points in my pocket and a one point lead, but SB managed to get three points back on me this week.

The KOM point was legit, but after drafting me for the second week in a row and then outkicking me for points in the Sprint, two huge dogs ran into the road causing most people to let up. SB took advantage of the opportunity, ignored everyone's safety, and weaseled his way into fourth place...and two points ahead of Mongo for sixth on GC. Now, with my three bonus points, Mongo is going into the last Hammerfest with only a one point lead.

"Pack a lunch, Snow Bunny...It's gonna be a long day!!!"

Nar Lee

For Mongo's money, this is the best skateboard contest every year. Though the active pros definitely rip up the bowl, it's the legends in the Masters Division that everyone really loves to watch. Miller, Cab, Steadham, Grosso, Mountain, Hosoi...It doesn't get any better! Watch the live webcast...Here!

Giving Feels Good

If you would like to sponsor one of our riders and/or help raise money for the American Diabetes Association please click on the link...Here!

Select any of the riders participating...All of the money goes to the same place.

Va Fanculo: I Am Petacchi

(Photo:Graham Watson/VeloNews)

Cool People Being Cool

Mongo was riding light and fast this morning. I was flying the team colors and looking for a scrap. Though I had no real challengers, an interesting thing happened. I hooked on with an eight-man paceline of fairly fast, nice guys.

I should have noticed something was up when I didn't see any Cervelos or corporate kits. Though Mongo was clearly faster than everyone, as demonstrated by my fifteen mile, Jens Voigt pull at the front, no one felt the need to flex their muscles or act like a dick. Everyone was just enjoying the ride. Good times!

You Could See This One Coming

Looked good on paper!

The seemingly unbeatable Team Garmin-Slipstream lost the TTT in the opening stage of the Giro to Team Columbia by six seconds. Team Astana-Mellow Johnny's...came in third on the day.

(Photo:Graham Watson/VeloNews)

Cocaine's A Hell Of A Drug

"Driving that train, high on cocaine,

Casey Jones is ready, watch your speed.

Trouble ahead, trouble behind,

And you know that notion just crossed my mind."

(Grateful Dead)

Above The Clouds

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."

(Ralph Waldo Emerson)

She Is A B**ch

In Mongo's ongoing quest to secure sixth place, or as I like to call it, Second Team Podium, in the Hammerfest Spring Series, my training has been both secretive and intense.

Today I went out for a fat-burning thirty on LPE. As I was cruising along on the homeward half, rocking out to some Tool that was cranking from the boombox duct taped to my handlebars, I thought to myself that it had been a really long time since someone other than my regular group of buddies had given Mongo a beat down on a bicycle...I was feeling quite proud of myself when Karma reared her ugly head in the form of a really fast douchebag on a Scott CR1...It was on!

To add insult to injured pride, this dude had a t-shirt tucked in his Assos shorts...what a dick! Anyway, he jumped every light and intersection for six miles trying to lose me. I couldn't match his acceleration because, remember, I was on a twenty four pound mountain bike, but I would always catch him. And when I did, I would draft him mercilessly. Finally, when I knew he was done, I did my best Christoph Sauser and went around him. It was sweet!

Remember kids...There's always someone out there who is faster on a bicycle and better at Pool than you are...Just not today.

Backcountry 5.0: The Sunsetting-ing

Mongo is a lucky man... Not in the winning the lottery, never have to work again kind of way...But what I do have, is the ability to roll down my driveway on a skateboard or a bicycle and find a moment or an adventure any time I want...Mongo is a lucky man.

He Also Likes Puppies

Levi Will Win The Giro d'Italia!!!

Is There A Bike With That Rack?

Once again, Mongo is involved in a complicated cycling pool during the Giro d'Italia. I would explain how it works, but unfortunately only a few Tibetan monks, and possibly Oprah, have a full grasp on it's complexity. So...I make my picks and we see what happens.

Top ten picks on GC:

1. Leipheimer

2. Cunego

3. Di Luca

4. Basso

5. Simoni

6. Garzelli

7. Brajkovic

8. Sastre

9. Menchov

10. VandeVelde

Top two sprinters:

1. Cavendish

2. Petacchi

Top Team:

Garmin-Slipstream

Ha Ha Haiku

Ran out of money

You can't trust those damn Russkies

Suck it hard Bruyneel

The Air Is Sweeter In Sixth Place

Smyrna Bicycles 23/2300 Hammerfest: Top Ten (With two rides to go in the Spring Series)

1. Clay B. 66.5

2. Tom B. 50

3. Jason G. 50

4. James D. 38.5

5. Will C. 30

6. Mongo P. 24

7. Paul FSSB 23

8. Steven S. 14

9. Eddie D. 13

10. Brady R. 12

Vlad Vlad Leroy Brown

Back in February of '08, on this blog, Mongo touted Vladimir Karpets as a Grand Tour contender for that season. Unfortunately, injury and sucking kept him from fulfilling his promise.

He's rounding back into good form this year and just finished second in the Tour of Romandie. Karpets was buried on

Caisse d'Epargne behind Valverde and Pereiro, but now he' the only legit GC guy on Katusha. Look for good results this Summer from the "Mulletov Cocktail"(I'm trademarking it...don't even think about it!)

(Photo:Casey Gibson/VeloNews)

Is Levi An Investor?

It's no Tour Of California, but LBM wins the Tour of the Gila...and the Mellow Johnny's Cycling Team takes first, second, and seventh.(What's up with that, Chris Horner?)

Mongo has seen better competition at a Crate & Barrel lunch ride! I'm sure Levi could have run away with the race, but he had to stay close by MJ himself to remind him that if he continues to ride like a Cat 3, Johan will take his personal lubricant and move on to younger pastures.

(Photo:Casey Gibson/Velonews)

Let Me Take A Seat And Stay A While

"Many go fishing all their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after."

(Henry David Thoreau)

The Time Has Come...

...for Mongo to throw his weight, and considerable "juice", behind a European Pro cycling team.

Though I am committed to Garmin-Slipstream, and I'm sticking with them, the truth is that I need a little something on the side. A mistress, so to speak.

After studying my options and then seeing who was willing to "put out" in order to gain my favor, I found only one taker...the sloppy Italian chick.

Therefore, Mongo is proud to announce that his booty call for the rest of the season will be none other than...Liquigas.

(Photo:Graham Watson/VeloNews)

Swine Flu Over The Cuckoo's Nest

Mongo felt good on the bike this morning. My weight has been coming off slowly but surely, my training has been consistent and specific, and my performance every week at the 23/2300 Hammerfest has been improving steadily...and today's training ride showed the results of my efforts.

Though I was riding heavy, (Li'l Pony Express), Mongo managed thirty miles of blistering action...with four Treks, a Cervelo, some sort of Scattante, a hot tri-chick on a Cannondale, and a Powertap equipped racer wearing a religious themed kit...all going down!

There is no better satisfaction than seeing the look on Douchey McTrek's face when he realizes that a dude on a mountain bike is pacing him off his left rear quarter panel at 24mph.

I'm Not Complaining

...They make you forget you even have a blog!