I'm Gonna Git You Sucka

This is a Scott Plasma...With SRAM Red and Zipp wheels it costs about $8500.00.

The only people that ride this bike are sponsored, professional cyclists and triathletes...and rich douchebags.

If you're a pro, you ride the best bike you can...period.

Triathletes don't care enough about their bikes to drop this kind of jack. Oh, they'll lay two to four grand on a Cervelo or a Quintana Roo, but image is not usually a concern...just going fast in a straight line wearing a man-bra and some overly short shorts.

So all we have left are the rich douchebags. These guys are different than parking lot poseurs in that they actually have game. If you drop eight large on a bike, you're telling everyone around you that not only are you faster than they are...you're richer.

It was for this reason that Mongo almost killed himself Saturday morning in a showdown with an asiany-looking dude on the exact bike above. I won't go into the details, but I had to average over 22 mph for the last fifteen miles to catch and pass him. This included at least ten look-backs and two jumped traffic lights on his part.

When I finally rolled past him I said, "Nice run", though I really didn't mean it, and the first thing he said to me was, "Yeah, I'm on the tail end of forty miles. How far did you go?" I said, "Fifty", and kept going.