Really ?

Mongo took the new Allez, or as I like to call her, White Lightnin', out for her sea trials today. Thanks to my buddy Tom(I wish my last name was Boonen) and a new EC 70 carbon fork, she's 270 grams lighter and better than ever.

Though I was only planning a 40 mile shakedown ride, ol' Lightnin' was chompin' at the bit for her first smackdown. I was holding her back at a brisk 20mph, when a twelve point buck eased past me on the left. It was a Trek Madone... with the added bonus of the rider in a full Mapei kit.

The Madone is the Land Rover of poseur bikes. The only reason most of the chuckleheads ride them is because of Lance, or because they want to keep up with their country club neighbors. I know they're good bikes, but come on! There are at least twenty other bikes I'd spend six large on before I got a Trek. To Mongo, the Madone represents smugness...and I hate smugness.

Lightnin' did her job and the Mapei/Madone/Smug Cycling Team was disposed of in short order and Mongo turned for home in a leisurely manner...Then it happened.

Like I said, I was in cool down mode, so when two guys rockin' Titanium(unfortunately not Litespeeds...Mongo's favorite prey) zipped past, W.L. and I had to ramp it back up to battle stations.

These guys were worthy opponents, but after several miles I had gapped them by a few hundred yards and was coming to the end of the ride. With about half a mile to go, traffic and lights had allowed Ti 1 and Ti 2 to catch up to me and I was quite prepared to cruise the rest of the way in with them.

As the words "nice ride" are coming out of my mouth, the dude on the Merlin goes into a full sprint. He couldn't keep up with me over a period of miles with the help of a partner, but now with the help of traffic and my good will he's trying to go Petacchi on me.

Of course, ol' Lightnin' would have none of that, and she out sprinted Mr. Douchey McDouche to the line. As we passed him, I looked at him and asked..."Are you f***ing serious?" There was no reply.