Unless I am accosted by a four hundred pound Samoan, and force fed like a Turkey Vulture hatchling, Mongo is going to complete the month of December sans ice-cream. I have lost seven pounds so far by doing nothing different other than eliminating this evil deliciousness from my goat-like diet.Thursday, December 30, 2010
Looks Like I'm Going To Make It
Unless I am accosted by a four hundred pound Samoan, and force fed like a Turkey Vulture hatchling, Mongo is going to complete the month of December sans ice-cream. I have lost seven pounds so far by doing nothing different other than eliminating this evil deliciousness from my goat-like diet.
You Can't Measure This Kind Of Torque
The watts readout from my Powertap hub that I don't own would have read in the fifteen hundreds...at least!
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Have You Seen Them?...You Will Soon
Left to right: (Stacy Peralta, Rodney Mullen, Steve Caballero, Tony Hawk, Mike McGill, Lance Mountain, Mark Gonzales)
For skateboarders between the ages of thirty five and forty five, these guys are the shit. Where the Z-Boys left off, the Bones Brigade picked up the torch and took over.
"OG" Z-Boy and legend, Stacy Peralta, is directing a documentary in 2011, a la "Dogtown and Z-Boys", chronicling the evolution and impact of the Bones Brigade on skateboarding and the culture.
Mongo hasn't been this excited about a movie since I skipped school to go see "Return Of The Jedi" on opening day...and had to decline a TV interview on the local news about "Star Wars Mania!" because I had lied about why I wasn't in school and was sure I'd be busted when everyone saw me...True story.
Photo:Atiba/Steve Caballero)
Sunday, December 26, 2010
And I Was Minding Mine
Resigning from the unfinished plan
Replying to the published demand
Reflecting on the accomplished stand
Revolving around the vanquished man
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Paperbacks And Angry Voices
"Age is no better, hardly so well, qualified for an instructor as youth, for it has not profited so much as it has lost. One may almost doubt if the wisest man has learned anything of absolute value by living."
(Henry David Thoreau)
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
50 PSI: Cat 5 Domination Goes Knobby
One of the things that Mongo enjoys most about road cycling, is the ability to zone-out and daydream while not really paying close attention to the details of the terrain around me. A road is a road is a road, so to speak. Sure, there are potholes and glass and the occasional varmint, but you can usually see these obstacles coming without much distress. But as I was reminded on Sunday, when mountain biking on some technical singletrack, you'd better be paying close attention to "everything' or...you're gonna crash.
After getting rained and colded out on Saturday, Mongo managed to get in two great days of riding on Sunday and Monday. I hit the trail on Sunday on the F600, and got my mountain biking legs back under me. There's a 3/4 mile, man-made track near my house, and after getting a great workout doing multiple laps, I plan to spend a lot of time there over the Winter. Trust me, I need the work, and the cardio benefits will help with my climbing on the road.
On Monday, I ran into "Just Home From College" Jimmy at the shop, and we did the 23/2300 Hammerfest loop at a moderate pace. It was nice to see the results of my efforts at "Enemy Bike Shop" ride over the past couple of months pay off, as I was feeling stronger on the much steeper climbs of the 'Fest.
Monday, December 20, 2010
They Call Me Donnie Brasco
Floyd Landis wears a wire and a hidden camera for the Feds during a meeting with Michael Ball...Allegedly uncovering doping products, which led to a raid on Ball's home.
Though Mongo mostly believes Landis concerning his knowledge and exposure to doping, I am beginning to personally dislike him. To me, he is a self-serving weasel who is bitter about being caught while so many of his contemporaries have seemingly gotten away with it.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
What Will $500.00 Get You On Ebay?
Limited Edition (117/500) Powell-Peralta/ Steve Caballero/ "Propeller Skull" deck.
Rained Out: Xbox Or Tool Box?
It was cold and wet and I didn't want to ride. I actually wanted to ride...but the idea of the miserable conditions facing me and the hours of anal-retentive cleaning of road grime and liquefied brake dust afterwards, made me turn over and go back to sleep.
Two hours, a Clif bar, and a pot of coffee later, I was in my garage doing some "wrenching". And by "wrenching", I don't mean what you would normally think when someone says "wrenching". In fact, I only do that occasionally...because it will make you go blind.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Da Funk And Da Noise: The Saturday Ride...But Where Was Snow Bunny?
Mongo did his fourth consecutive "Enemy Bike Shop" ride on Saturday, and this time I had five other teammates with me. "Fast" Eddie and "No Nickname" Mark met me at the beginning of the ride, while "Piathlete" Jason, "I'm Just Waiting For 2011" Clay, and "If You Ain't Racin', You Ain't Ridin'" Tom, joined the ride about eight miles in.The Smyrna crew controlled the pace most of the day, with Tom turning the final twenty miles into race conditions at the front of the peloton. It's always beneficial to be wearing the same kit as some of the fastest guys in the group. Mongo was able to yo-yo back and forth between my guys at the front and the comfort of the draft in the middle of the pack without much interference from this usually difficult peloton.
It was a little slower than last week, with some of the Cat 1/2 types absent, but the average speed was still over 20 mph. Weather permitting, Mongo is doing this ride every week from now on. The topography suits my game, and there are always better cyclists there to push me.
1978
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."
(Friedrich Nietzsche)
AK47 Update: I Might Regret This
On that note, Mongo has decided to give one of his "Guys" a second chance. I have always been a fan of shady, German cyclists. The Godfather, of course, being "The Jan", and the younger, smarter, Michael Corleone being Andreas Kloden.
I see no reason why this shouldn't be a good year for AK47. Here are the GC riders for RadioShack in 2011...Kloden, Leipheimer, Brajkovic, Horner. The smart money is that Johan Bruyneel is going to ride with Kloden and have Brajkovic as his reserve. "Shetland Jens Voigt" and Horner will be riding support roles in Europe and get tossed a bone at the Tour of California as protected riders.
(Photo:CyclingNews)
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
What's New In Douchey?: Custom Frames And A Cold Chamois
Normally, I meet up with the ride about three miles into it, but on Saturday I decided to do the whole shebang. When I arrived in the parking lot, there were about 80 people staging their bikes... I was shocked. It was cold and windy, and even on warm days there's usually no more than 50 riders, but that day it was packed. I'm still not sure why.
There were team kits everywhere...except my own team. Mongo was going "Lone Wolf" in a sea of at least three teams with five or more riders. The "Enemy Bike Shop" team was out in full force with twelve riders...most of them rocking Agostinos with team colors. The peloton split into two different rides, with about 60 people going my way...and it was on from the get go.
Forty Five Minutes Or Less
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Embrocation
(Photo:CyclingNews)
Dave Zabriskie looks very pleased with himself, dressed in his drag-queen house dress, as a confused Heinrich Haussler walks away after receiving a personalized, "welcome to the team" application of DZNUTS.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Fun And Games Until You Break A Spoke
Today had the potential to be a really great day of cycling. Though Winter has finally taken hold, Mongo's unlimited combinations of layerings and coverings make it nearly impossible for me to use weather as an excuse for inactivity. Finally, afters years of trial and error, I am able to ride fairly comfortably, in dry conditions, down to about 25-30 degrees. Fahrenheit, baby!
It was in the sweltering 40's today, and since I was feeling pretty good, Mongo decided to do a solo loop on the 23/2300 Hammerfest course at a moderate yet brisk pace on the newly monikered, BRB (Brilliant Red Barchetta).
I hadn't seen the fellas at the shop in a while, so I stopped by on my way out. Tom and MC-Lean(TM) were working hard, mostly on their own bikes, and even "Hawaii" Clay made a rare appearance and hung out for a while. The talk turned to shitty roads, broken spokes, and miserable rides when Tom recounted an in-town ride yesterday. Mongo triumphantly exclaimed, at some point during the conversation, that I had had zero problems with my AC Hurricanes since they were trued-up after my bad crash several months ago...Less than thirty minutes later, Mongo was standing on the side of the road with a broken rear spoke!
Ain't that a bitch?!... Mongo gave MC-Lean(TM) a ringy-dingy, and an emergency pickup and delivery was made by the Broom Wagon...at breakneck and life-threatening speed, I might add. Once back at the shop, the spoke was replaced, the wheel trued, and while there, even a couple more visits by team members, "Danimal" and "I'm not racing Masters" Andy.
Though my day in the saddle was short, I was feeling good. I'm looking forward to seeing how my performance shakes out at the highly competitive, "Enemy Bike Shop" ride on Saturday morning.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Kick Out The Jams
A mask of perpetual motion
Enlisting the hopes of strangers
A song confined to open windows
Rhyming the voices of time consumed
Hit The Floor Don't Ask For More
Mongo has ridden very well over the last couple of weeks. Several hundred miles, two successful insertions into the "Enemy Bike Shop" peloton, a half-dozen smackdowns, a couple of hard sessions of interval hill training...not too shabby. But the fact still remains that Mongo needs to lose twenty pounds o' fat if I'm going to step it up and get some results in my "Cat 5 Domination" campaign of 2011. So...
Once again, Mongo will be temporarily putting my addiction on the shelf for the entire month of December...and quitting the consumption of ice-cream.
Mongo doesn't do moderation with the vices I have, or have had, in my life. It's all or nothing! I plan on entering the new year at least 5-10 pounds lighter than I am, right now, sitting on my fat ass in front of the computer.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Tryptophanning The Light Fantastic
One of the things that Mongo has a bad habit of doing while riding is not looking where I'm going. This might seem like a "major' problem, but in reality, it's not really. Sometimes when tired, I let the weight of my massive cranium bring my eye-level down to only a few feet in front of my bike...causing me to lose track of any obstacles that may be further up the road. Though I always eventually look up, sometimes this has gotten me into trouble.
Potholes, dogs, people, debris, snakes...have all been on the receiving end of my lack of "farsight". Though the only things I've ever hit are road craters, there have been some close calls.
The other day I was on the home stretch of another successful smackdown, and was in the drops hammering the final nail in the coffin, when I looked up at 27 mph and realized I was thirty feet away from plowing into the backs of a nice young couple and their dog. Luckily, my years of Ninja training in Okinawa paid off, and I narrowly avoided an unexplainable and inexcusable catastrophe.
Today I was in a similar situation when I was forced to bunny-hop a large branch at the last second that I never saw coming. It was a "sweet" hop, by the way, with the kind of amplitude not usually found on the skinny tire circuit.
My point is this...As road cyclists, we are at the mercy of cars and their drivers. Careless and ignorant motorists literally threaten our lives every time we take to the roads. In the same vain, pedestrians, joggers, bladers, people on that "super-gay", stand-up, Trikke thingy, deserve the same consideration and respect from cyclists as we expect from motorists.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Sketchy Blind Spot
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do, because I notice it always coincides with their own desires."
(Susan B. Anthony)
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Withering My Intuition
"A man must consider what a rich realm he abdicates when he becomes a conformist."
(Ralph Waldo Emerson)
Monday, November 22, 2010
Three Days Grace
Mongo got a rare opportunity to ride over the past three days. I did the "Enemy Bike Shop" ride on Saturday with Clay and "Snow Bunny"...which everyone not named "Snow Bunny" completed and enjoyed. The peloton was 40+ strong, and the pace over the ride averaged close to 20 mph. I was actually quite surprised how well I rode. Mongo's performance was unexplained and unexpected...but I'll take it!
On Sunday, I took LPE out for a 30 mile recovery ride. It was fairly uneventful until I was forced to chase down and pass a dude on a Look 595. It is part of the fun, as well as the burden, to smackdown pretentious roadies on my tricked-out mountain bike. No one can believe it's happening to them...by me...so they expend every bit of energy in a losing effort.
Today, Mongo did a medium paced ride around the 23/2300 Hammerfest loop...then I added another 15 miles on the Silver Comet Trail. In my tired and depleted state on the way home, I was jumped by what I can only imagine was a husband/wife team, due to their matching Independent Fabrications titanium bikes, and had to do the final five kilometres (European for miles) at 26 mph to stay ahead of them.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
What's New In Cheating?: If There's No Dope In The Meat, You Can't Compete...And...Watch Out For The Po Po
It's not looking good for the "Frito Bandito" and "Mellow Johnny". There was no Clenbuterol found in any meat from the alleged, Spanish butcher, and Yaroslav Popovych has been raided and worked over by the Feds and Interpol like he knows something...maybe implicating not only MJ, but also exposing the the structure of institutional cheating in cycling?
Mongo expects Contador to get a two-year ban, and Armstrong to go down in much the same way Roger Clemens did...defiant to the end, but unable to escape the overwhelming testimony and evidence against him.
Monday, November 15, 2010
...And This Is What They Choose?
"All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."
(Friedrich Nietzsche)
One Day Ahead Of The Funk: The Sunday Ride
Mongo's been on the verge of getting sick for about a week now. Normally, I have the immune system of a trailer park Skunk, but at approximately 4:00 pm yesterday, Mongo officially succumbed to whatever is succumbing me.
It also just so happens that that time was a couple of hours after I had finished a tough ride. I did 30'ish miles of hard climbing and traffic avoidance with teammates, "I only ride at the front" Jason, and "There's an orchestra in my cassette" Clay. The combination of exertion, cold weather, and potholes, finally defeated my defenses.
I felt so shitty, that after some food and a shower, I went to sleep at seven thirty...bad idea! Mongo never, ever, ever, sleeps for more than eight hours...no matter what time I go to bed. You do the math...I was wide awake, and still very much sick, at three o'clock in the morning. Only after another hot shower and then watching Boardwalk Empire did I manage to get a couple more hours of sleep.
I'm looking at a week, at least, of no riding if I'm going to shake this bug.
Friday, November 12, 2010
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